I Suppose It's Obligatory To Post.........

So, a few months ago I was expecting there to be nothing at all to this Christmas.
------------
My dad and brother were away in Iraq and were not going to be home until January. This meant that I would be doing nothing, there would be no real family stuff, and it would be cool b/c I knew that all I would be getting would be a new Carhartt hoodie and some sleep pants, so no need to do anything anyway.

Well, my dad and brother got home last week. So at one point there was to be a bit more hoopla (such as an extra helping of chicken & dressing). But then my grandmother got really worse and my grandad wasn't up to snuff either. And, my dad's family stuff got pushed to New Year's Eve. So, Christmas was probably just going to be a couple of days at home....now watching DVDs (b/c I kinda helped my mom pick out DVDs for my brother and she got me some too).

Well, Saturday (Christmas Eve) my grandmother died. She was in bad shape and it was going to happen at any time. So, now my mom and dad were in and out Saturday night trying to arrange things and just do stuff in between the constant barrage of people bringing food and wanting to visit for a few minutes.

(Oh, and don't comment with an 'I'm sorry' post, b/c everything's cool. Really....she's better off, we're all fine with it, nothing's dramatic and out of place here. I will say that I saw her Friday afternoon for the last time. That was kind of freaky b/c she couldn't talk and didn't really respond. And, I felt kind of bad b/c I sorta wanted to hit on the Hospice Nurse.)

So Sunday my brother felt compelled to wake me up at freaking 7:30am to open our presents. Mind you.....I wasn't going to say a damn word about presents and sleep in b/c I didn't think it was appropriate. But nooooo.....he's got to open them. And, btw......he did NOT give me that Lyra.

But he DID, however, announce that he is getting married. He gave her the ring Friday. .........Wonderful. Now, for the next 40 years I get to hear the good old adage "So, when are YOU getting married?"

So I'm not looking for sympathy here, but it's the oddest thing: My Christmas (though I'm alone and self-loathing anyway) has been spent almost in solitude, yet with people constantfuckingly stopping by and calling on the phone; And chaotic with all of my mom doing the funeral planning......yet boring as heck.

Now, normally I would have called one of you to go do something.....but it's freaking Christmas. I know, that at least 3 of you are going to say "You should have called me," but NO, you don't mean that.......at least not on Christmas.

You were too busy watching 'LOST' or reading your 'College Sports Encyclopedia' or.....or........OK, maybe there's only 2 of you.....but you know who you are (and you have the same names.......weird).

I wanted a cold beer and a pack of cigarettes.

---------------------
So that's my story. I love Jesus, he's my Lord and Saviour and this is his birthday. But if things keep up like this..........

I fucking hate Christmas.

Giving & Receiving...

Yeah, I think this year, all of my gifts have been something that I will get/use in return. Not really in a re-gifting sort of way.........more like a 'watch a DVD more than the person who got it' or 'just borrow and make a copy of CDs' that I gave someone.

Oh and yeah, there's probably also a 'I'll watch your new TV while I make a sandwich' gift in there too.

There's definitely a 'hey, remember we used to watch this Canadian show together on CBS when I was still in school and now it's on DVD?....even though I'll have to give you a DVD player so you can watch it' gift as well.

----

That's all for now, I got distracted on MySpace and now I have to do some actual work. Peace out, I'll finish my thoughts later.

Inspector Cluseau Mode....

Dude, tonight when I got home I found a box brought by FedEx.

My first thought was "What tha $&*# have I ordered?"

I opened it and to my surprise it was an RCA Lyra.....a portable MP3 player.....a 20GB portable player at that!!!

So, there was NO shipment invoice.....NOTHING to show where this came from. All I know is it came from 'Topstar Exports' in Los Angeles. It is a refurbished unit, so it seems like it came from eBay.

But the major question is: "Where tha fuck did this come from???!!"

There are several theories: One is that some credit card company sent it to me.....in an effort that I'll open it and become obligated to sign up for something. The second is that someone stupid hacked into my eBay account....bought it.....but sent it to ME instead of to THEM.

The third is that someone is really really thoughtful and sent it to me as an incredibly expensive and over elaborate Christmas gift, to which I am extemely grateful and undeserving. If this is the case: whoever you are please identify yourself b/c you must have owed me a TON of money, or you are a really cool person.

(oh, and no one own up to it just so you don't have to buy me a present....I want to see a receipt!)


Otherwise.....just wanted to share that bit or info....b/c I'm kind of freaked out about it right now.

Ok Ok......first things first:

Wright And Pegg will be at it again! (Click the link!!!)

Secondly.......

In case you dind't bother to click on the link, Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg have the 'greenlight' to make "Hot Fuzz," their 2nd film--and a follow up to "Shaun Of The Dead."

Thirdly.......

In case you don't know who Wright/Pegg are........you can go away and never ever talk to me again.

The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street

First of all.....yeah, "Sweeney Todd" is an f'ed up musical.

Which, I forgot to mention.....I saw "Rent" last week. It was good, and as joked about in 'Team America'......everyone did in fact have AIDS. Well, except for the one Jewish guy. Oh, and I guess the lesbians were fine too. But other than that, yeah, AIDS all around. AIDS and smack.

------

On that note, I'll say this: My mom is down in Hattiesburg b/c my dad just got there, and she's waiting till Thursday to see if my brother comes in then or not. So.......I've got the house to myself till then. I'm thinking of making a stop somewhere Tuesday night for some provisions. If anyone is interested in staying over Tuesday night.....come on over.

I shouldn't be alone......watching musicals.....without any alcohol.

But at least I'm watching "Into The Woods", so it's not like it's a lame musical.

-------

I hope most of you got the email I sent out with David Cross' open letter to Larry The Cable Guy. Incredibly funny. If not.........go HERE and read it!!!!

VERY FUNNY!!!!!

Yeah, I Listen To Moby.........So What?

It's official......Hollywood has gone the way of the leftist liberals. In an attempt to be more politically correct, the name of the third X-Men movie has been released:

"X3: We're X-Persons, Thank You Very Much"

When asked to comment, X-Person Jean Grey stated, "Yeah, I think it's a good move. The 'X-Men' made it sound like the guys were controlling the show. But, I promise I didn't use my telepathic powers to make the Hollywood Executives change the name. .......Promise."

Jean Grey immediately died and came back as the Phoenix.
----
Yes.......I'm thinking of writing for "The Onion." I made all of that up by myself. You can tell b/c it's NOT FUNNY.

-----------------

In Other News:

"The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe" is FAN-tastic.!!!


Plus, it has Centaurs in it.

I'm not going to half-assed review it b/c there's no point, besides I hate typing and typing and typing. But what I will say that apart from great acting and outstanding special effects, there is a great deal of Christian imagery. Just amazing. Plus, there is a special cameo by Santa Claus himself.

I thought that a bit odd myself.

Frankly I would have let Galadriel come in and give the kids their magical gifts.....but that's just me. I'm sure Tolkien would have let C.S. Lewis borrow a character.

But for the most fun out of a PG-movie where you see a talking beaver.....rush out to see 'Narnia.'

For a more adult-oriented movie with a talking beaver........I'll let you borrow a few special DVDs.

Hooray! Or, As Nick Frost Would Say: "AEEEEE!"

GO HERE AND DROOOL!

Artist of the day, people!

Andrew will be soon....I promise!

New Fun "Please Resond" Thing I Just Invented:

Ok, first of all: I flipping LOVE "The Muppet Movie." So much fun....check it out, but if you read this, I'll probably be letting you borrow it.

NOW, ON TO BUSINESS:
-----------------

Heres what I want you to do if you care to do such things: I'm going to post a soundtrack to a movie that basically shaped my teen years and how I got into music (it's EVERYONE'S teen years that they develop their taste and love/preference of music.....sorry Andrew this is going to piss you off.). THEN.....I want YOU to comment by posting the same kind of thing, but it has to be a soundtrack. And, if the comment space is too small, just email me and I'll post it.

Neat.....here we go:

THE BATMAN FOREVER SOUNDTRACK

1. Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me - U2 - Kind of my first introduction to U2....I was thrown off by the weird orgasmic-sounding vocal at the end, when I started to hear that 3/4 of U2 were into Christianity in their youth at the time of forming the band. But I thought the song rocked out.
2. One Time Too Many - P.J. Harvey - I could never figure out if P.J. Harvey was a dude or a girl (girl indeed), but this is why I leaned more to the rock&roll genre.
3. Where Are You Now? - Brandy - Sucked then....sucks now....but I still listened to it.
4. Kiss From A Rose - Seal - I didn't like this as much as everyone else...yet it's the most popular song on the disc.
5. The Hunter Gets Captured By The Game - Massive Attack With Tracey Thorn - Really cool vibe, and I dug Tracey Thorn. I think it helped develop my fascination with British stuff, and made me wonder if all British women were a bit mannish.
6. Nobody Lives Without Love - Eddi Reader - Again, another chick song...but I like the Adult Contemporary feel to it.
7. Tell Me Now - Mazzy Star - Flipping Mazzy Star. This is kind of what I would later get into music-wise. I just didn't know it yet. It's kind of a slighty off-tuned guitar simply strummed with a very slow drum beat. Sounds like very few instruments and kind of like basement-produced is how I would describe it.
8. Smash It Up - The Offspring - Intro to kind of punkish rock. This was before "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)", thank goodness.
9. There Is A Light - Nick Cave - Nick Cave is a weird dude. This was also about the time I knew him from the X-Files and Dumb&Dumber...."Red-Right Hand," you know....the 'I got robbed by a little old lady in a motorized cart' music.....also loved by X-Files creator Chris Carter.
10. The Riddler - Method Man - Yeah.....never liked rap music. It's just blatant soundtrack-rap-song that puts a character from the movie into it. Listening to it now, I have to wonder, "Did Method Man have a cold when he recoded his vocals?" You know, it sounds like "Duh Riddwer."
11. The Passenger - Michael Hutchence - I never liked INXS, but it was electronicish and kind of creepy (Nick Cave wannabe). It was before he killed himself.
12. Crossing The River - The Devlins - I used to stand in front of my mirror singing this....but I would stand so that you could only see half of my face......kind of like a music video.
13. 8 - Sunny Day Real Estate - Ahh yes, years later when Andrew was getting me into his music, he asked if I knew Sunny Day Real Estate. I was proud that I did. This stuff rocked...and was almost too random to be on a Batman soundtrack, b/c they seemed like then what would be an indie band now.
14. Bad Days - The Flaming Lips - Quirky.....and I didn't know what to expect from a band called "the flaming lips" back then. I do now. Now, though, I can picture a TV-7 promo with Matt using this song.

So there you go....in my opinion a good soundtrack, even today. It's a little on the nostalgic side, but I listened to it the other day and can remember the feeling I had when it was one of the single digits of CDs in my music collection.

Obviously I just bought it b/c it was Batman....NOT b/c of the Seal song.

But, without this, I would be listening to Billy Joel to this day.

Now, please.....humor me with a comment.

:)

I Woke Up At 5a.m. This Morning After A Bad Dream:

I was the last person in line at the airport to get screened. I kept getting the wand b/c something in my pocket kept setting it off. I finally found out that it was the extra key in my wallet.

By the time I got over to the waiting area, some people left but I didn't see b/c I was trying to gather up my stuff. There were still a few people there so I didn't think anything about it. Then, I saw the trucks with blinking lights, and I asked the ticket guy if Flight 5208 had boarded yet.......he said yes and it's leaving in one minute.

"You'll never make it," he said as I was about to make a dash.

I missed my one and only flight to London.

I woke up sweating.

The 24th Year Itch

Ok, so it's hit me today--and made me quite nervous--that times'a running out.

I had given myself an unofficial deadline (similar to George W.) of pulling my troops out and leaving home. I had casually told people closer to the beginning and middle of 2005 that around Xmas and New Year I would be interested in starting to begin to think about looking for a place to live in Bruce.

Well.....it's here I suppose.

My mom said that in another week or two my brother will be heading up a convoy back to Kuwait, which means a few weeks after that he'll be home. My dad will surely be along shortly after by a month or two. My idea was in order to gain sympathy I would pretend like I was staying at home so my mom wouldn't be alone---and to totally hide the fact that I'm scared to death of leaving b/c I'm gonna starve by the end of the first week.

So now that it looks like everyone's coming home I guess I'm pushing myself out.

Plus, I'm feeling the need for beer and cigarettes more often now, and it's not like I can step outside right now without catching much hell.

So, now I have something else to mull over and get an ulcer about.

There is the option of a roomate, but that would only be for occasional company and someone to wake up with. Besides, there are only 3 people I would even consider as a roomie.....and most likely they don't know blog this exists. So, sorry, I'm on my own.


---------


Alone again...........naturally.

--Gilbert O'Sullivan

So, I was on Comingsoon.net and it had a poll question that simply asked: "Would you want to see a Jurassic Park 4?"

Well, I say NO......as long as Peter Jackson makes some great dinosaurs in King Kong.

I've never really mentioned this to anyone lately, but I always wondered why they didn't make a dinosaur movie that had nothing to do with Jurassic Park? It's not like Spielberg bought the rights to ancient and extinct reptiles.

Anyway......tingling over King Kong!!!

Giggle-Ladys Need To Leave The Theater....

So, for all the trillions of people who are Harry Potter fans...some that are b/c he's a great character; some that are because he's just so cute; some that are b/c trillions of other people are; some that are b/c their parents are sooo religious that they would rather read Harry Potter to piss off their parents; some are b/c it's somehow 'wrong' to read books about witchcraft..........and even though all of these people may be Harry Potter fans, well, thats cool and all but I don't really like him.

I mean, not all of you like Billy Corgan, so there.

But what I will say is that "The Goblet Of Fire" is a great movie. (Conversely, I think that all other prints of the first 3 movies should be burned and never watched again. They are flipping bo-ring.

It had great suspense, and pretty decent story I guess, good effects (obviously something retarded people say b/c the point of effects is that you aren't supposed to know they are effects), and lots of good humor. Now, mind you, it was LIGHT-HEARTED humor, NOT GIGGLE AND GAWK EVERY 2 FUCKING MINUTES (you stupid lady that sat behind me). So anyway, I enjoyed, and the new Oxford Malco Studio is pretty goshdarn nice.
-------------
Ah yes, the joys of the McCarthy-Era.

I hope I'm under radar of the Patriot Act when I type this, but I hate movies about the McCarthy hearings b/c they simply piss me off. All that trouble and persecution that went on.....

Ok, I'm only 23 and don't know shit, I know, but it still pisses me off. Especially what they made Elia Kazan, one of the masters, do. And he was hated in Hollywood for it. (I think).

So...to clarify, I thought the George Clooney Directed/Co-Scripted "Good Night, And Good Luck" was pretty good. It was more like watching a documentary, one where you don't know your history and how it ends. But still there's nothing like a good smaller-type movie to watch instead of something laden with special effects shots.

Oh, and matinees are awesome b/c I only paid $5 to see Harry Potter.

Ok so I had to edit a bit of my last post b/c all of you fuckers (all 3 of you) have familys and shit and feel the need to celebrate thanksgiving by NOT going to see the Johnny Cash movie.

Fine.

But I'm not bitter, oh no, far be it from me to hold grudges or anything like that.

After all.....I am a bit richer after last night's trip to Tunica. Even though I have a wanker of a headache b/c Casinos smell like ass and I had two drunk British limeys hanging over my shoulder for a while yelling in my ear and then had to sleep in Adam's car (and apparently I snored) and woke up--just missing the sunrise--at about 6.30 between Batesville and Oxford. But, my mom wasn't panicked and just told me she was wondering whether she should look for me but since the police hadn't called then I must be OK.

4 8 15 16 23 42



-----
Sorry, I'm not trying to ramble all like Faulkner and shit....I'm just bored and trying to spice it up a bit and sound like I'm going crazy.

Titanic: Still A TearJerker

++Edited Out++
---------------
On a related note the old Cine 4 may be my new Varsity Twin. Now that the bigass theater is finished, they seem to have turned it into the cool hip indie theater. They are now playing all of the smaller films for the hipster crowd. So I may be taking a night up to Oxford once a week now.
------------------
I want to go to Kentucky--during the day--and go to all of the caves. Every few miles we passed by a sign leading to a cave and I wanted to stop and take a tour. But it was night.....and we were late.

I couldn't properly tell AdamH how neat it was for going with....I'm probably the last person you would want to ride with somewhere anyway.

Dang, I had a lot of cigarettes on the way and back. Be sure and check out my funeral soon. Can't Miss It.
------------------
Oh and if someone else wants to express interest in checking out the new Harry Potter in IMAX in Nashville in the next few months, give me a holla back. I won't do like last time and invite one at a time (whilst alienating in the process). I'll do like last week and post publicly. Oh, and there is room for more than one.....just FYI.
-------------------
This past week I would constantly say something, followed by "I'll blog about that," then never do it, then forget it.

..............my fault.

Just when it feels like my favorite show has jumped the shark, "LOST" comes back and proves it can still kick some ass. The second season has comparably kind of sucked so far, but now we're getting somewhere.

Oh, next week the two sections will meet.....finally we get to see Rose reunited with Bernard. Teary-eyed moment for sure....especially when it seemed she was written out of the show......."Nahhh, we don't need religious middle-aged black woman who is married to an old white guy ruining the demographic for the show."

Well, it was good by what little I could see through the fuzz and the fading picture tube and the voice of my mom talking on the phone to an old lady.
--------------------
Today's Pet Peeve: Loud Phone-talkers. Yeah, I'm one, I know....and I hate it. Just b/c you can't hear them that well doesn't mean they can't hear you. Think about it.

Wheel....Of........The Hell?

So, I know that 'Wheel Of Fortune' is tape delayed, but this is odd....

They are in New Orleans right now. Yeah......it was taped earlier this year. At least they are doing 'help with the relief effort' thingys.
----------
Todays Pet Peeve: Being a living creature. There's so many bothersome things about it, mostly bodily functions involving excreting waste. Just so bothersome, you don't really want to take time out of your day to do them. Ummmm.....excuse me, I have to go right now.

I believe Order 66 has been executed.....on my head.

More and more hair dwells by the drain after I shower.

------------
Today's Pet Peeve: When people don't let you answer a question or complete a thought before immediately asking a new question or changing the subject.

Just A Quick Reminder......

I know a few more people have started reading this again, including (and consisting of) Natalie & Andrew. Just letting you know why I don't update that often now:

My computer officially went kapoot when I......uh, well, never mind b/c it's embarassing......but anyway it's not working. So now I can't update from the comfor of my room. The only other computer at my house is in another room....and I'm usually using it for other purposes. And, I usually don't have time at work (though that's where I am now), so I just do it when I can.

Besides that, not much has been going on anyway. So, you guys picked the wrong time of year to start back doing your blog thingys.

"He's Not My Boyfriend."

Full Power

There are 2 things in life I'm sure of:

1.) If I NEVER again hear "House Of The Rising Sun" played by a high school marching band, it'll be too soon.

2.) If I NEVER again see another picture of someone taken by themselves by holding the camera at arms length while looking either seductive or thoughtful, it'll be too soon.

-------------------

Other than that, I'm glad Natalie's back home, and that Andrew will be home very very soon. Maybe there will be a party to be had soon.

Suffice it to say that, man, my parade has just been shat on lately.

Other than that, I'm thinking "Love Actually" may possibly be the greatest romantic comedy of our time. --notice I said 'our time' b/c I've not really seen that many romantic comedies, and I'm not even gonna think about the greatest ever made b/c I would have to see them all starting way back when. I just don't really wanna watch any Fred&Ginger movies right now-- Anyway, the bottom line is I LOVE that movie.

Life........Don't Talk To Me About Life....

So last Sunday me and The Zeke saw David Cronenberg's "A History Of Violence."

Well, the opening 5 minutes started out really slow, as if it were "A History Of Patience," then, it got rather disturbing, then turned into "A History Of Good 'Ol Small Town Livin'" for the next 20 or so minutes.

Yes, it seemed for a while that the title was deceptive, as the movie set up macho-man Viggo Mortenson as an all-around all-American dad. He begins the movie by comforting his daughter, who thought she saw monsters in her room, and then we see him the next day at the breakfast table being a good dad to his loving son and a good husband to his hot and loving wife. The movie shows the splendor of small-town life in the Mid-West as Viggo, as 'Tom Stall', has a cafe right there on main street. Well, things turn ugly fast as one night, the two scoundrels from the opening credits show up at the cafe at closing time. Things turn nasty and just before the raping and killing of everyone there, Viggo/Tom throws coffee in their face and then uses their own gun to blast them a few more holes in the chest and face. (oddly enough, his shooting seems to be dead-on accurate and his moves were almost like reflexes......hmmmmmm....)

Well, Viggo/Tom becomes a local hero, and one day some pretty tough guys show up and start calling Viggo 'Joey', to which Viggo denies he's this guy they want. Well, if you can't tell by now, Viggo/Tom really IS Viggo/Joey, and he's one bad-ass. It culminates in him killing some people in his front yard, and his family realizing he used to have a very different life. He eventually drives to Philadelphia to meet with William Hurt (who is sporting very idiotic-yet-tough-looking facial hair), and their is some more violence and goings-on.

Though disturbing at many points, "A History Of Violence" kept me on the edge of my seat and still rooting for the good/bad guy with the split personality.

I give it 4 uppercuts to the nasal cavity out of 5.

Ketchup: For The Good Times

You need more ketchup, Jim. Ketchup has natural mellowing agents that help to keep you proactive, not reactive. So you can live your life, instead of destroying your home. What do you say we go have a big helping of ketchup right now?
--------------------
Alot's been going on....stuff that I planned to remember, but inevitably forgot.

I got over being sick....that's good. But when I got back home last night, I was all stuffy again. It's the first time I had been home since Sunday, so there may be something here making me sick. I house-sat for Andrew & Natalie this week, so therefore my week consisted of getting really drunk and using Andrew's DSL to download Michael Jackson and The Grateful Dead's "American Beauty." (Yeah...I was drinking and watching a 'Freaks & Geeks' episode.....and it just kinda happened.) I kind of feel dirty....except I also got the new My Morning Jacket album, but all that stuff is still on his computer so I have't even listened to it yet.

I did get to see 'Grizzly Man' Wednesday night; wasn't bad. There was a potential for a really good laugh during the previews, but sadly I had to watch it alone (thanks alot, fuckhead) and think of how I could explain it to others, but I'll try: Just 15 minutes before, we were talking about that South Park episode where Cartman says all independent films are just a bunch of gay cowboys eating pudding. Well, the Varisty Twin has been turned into an Independent/Art house theater (though it's still a Malco) and I was going to see a documentary. The previews were for some lesser known films coming out, when all of a sudden here comes a film about Jake Gyllenhal and Heath Ledger. They start working on a ranch, becoming ranch hands and being cowboys. Well, they start to take these fishing trips up in the mountains by themselves....and then, in the preview.........their faces are moving toward each other as they are about to make out. The rest of the movie is about them hiding their love affair. So yes, it's safe to say that movie is about gay cowboys. I could only chuckle to myself.

Oh, I gotta make a phone call, hopefully I'll return in a day or two for some more good updatin'.

BlackPeopleMeet.com

++I must begin by stating that this weekend was to be a Triple-Feature, but due to the fact that there is one more theater in Columbus that I didn't know about, I was unable to see "Grizzly Man" as planned. 20 minute drive wasted. Next time, I check Street Addresses.++

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse Of The WereRabbit - was absolutely wonderful. If I were to say I went in expecting it to greatly suck, I would then say that I left the theater very dissappointed. (sorry....I've been listening to more Douglas Adams lately so I'm trying to do that doublespeak thing) Luckily I brought Joel and Carli along, and Joel was laughing at all the same bits as me. There's just something so cute and rib-tickling about 50 bunnines being sucked into their little burrows, and then all floating around in a glass trap like one of those 'money grab' things. If there were ever a claymation creature I would marry, it would be Gromit. Such a brave little chap. I don't understand why just now, about ten years after they first came on the scene, they get their own movie. But, I can only hope for many more feature-length films, or at least a handful more shorts. Until then, I'll relish in the fabulousness of all things Wallace & Gromit.

I had absolutely no intention of ever watching Two For The Money, but now I'm really glad Bradley suggested it. (and 'Lord Of War' wasn't playing) I'm only now beginning to even understand sports, and I know even less about sports betting/gambling, so I expected to most likely not enjoy this movie. But, I got into this movie. Mostly b/c Matthew McConahey was shirtless 50% of the time, but still. It also starred Al Pacino and Rene Russo. I can't really say much besides it was a movie about sports betting and it was a drama......b/c that's about it. But, I did enjoy it, I guess you can take my word for it. It ended up having a good story and love triangle and things.
---------
From iTunes I downloaded the Hithhiker's Guide Tertiary, Quandry, and Quintissential Phases--which are based on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th books--and have just finished the Tertiary Phase. I have to say that honestly, the third book kind of bored me, what with the Krikit Robots and the Starship Italian Bistro (the only thing semi-entertaining thing was Arthur Dent learning to fly, and the Party That Never Ended bit), and this radio adaptation just didn't hold the same feeling that the original did when it made me get into The Guide. But I will listen to the next two b/c the story kind of picks up some...plus I just want to hear it, and I guess I have to seeing as how I downloaded it. A bit hasty of me, really.
----------
This week I look forward to being properly smashed.
----------
Well, as jerkhole retards say at the end of their speeches in 'Public Speaking' class: "That's just about it." [shrugs at teacher]

I'm fucking sick.

How's that for an update?

Taking Matters Into My Own Hands

So, I think I'm gonna do it. I mean, no one else seems to have taken or even wants to take the initiative to do what needs to be done. After all, it's really not that big of a deal so I don't know why I can't just do it myself. I mean, it's not that I'm afraid. It's something that I really want.

I'll do it soon. Probably even this weekend.

You see, it's just I get sick and tired of bringing a hamburger and fries back to the TV station, and then I look in the fridge....and there's no ketchup.

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go buy a bottle of ketchup to put in the fridge at the station, and just be done with it. No more scrounging for little packets. Annnnd....Democratic candidates and political affiliations be damned: I'm buying HEINZ Ketchup: the Only good ketchup out there.

So, I hope you brothas got my back.
-------------------------------------

I tried to get the 'Family Guy Movie' DVD at WalMart yesterday....but they were SOLD OUT! Nary a one to be found. Oxford needs more entertainment/video selling stores.

But I did get a Wallace&Gromit DVD.

Smear The Queer

I thought I could get by at least one Friday without seeing an offensive bumper sticker/car decoration. No. Last Friday nearabouts Pontotoc I saw...printed across a big Chevy trucks' windshield...."Speak English or DIE!"


.........yuh-huh.
---------------------------
According to MySpace, I have a new hero now. His name is Michel Gondry. He's that French guy, who, if you watched cool videos on MTV.....he made that Bjork 'bear/nightmare' video, Daft Punk's "Around The World" video, Chemical Brothers' "Let Forever Be" video, and, most famously, the White Stripes' "Fell In Love With A Girl" and "Hardest Button To Button" videos. ORRRR....if you've never seen those, perhaps you've heard of a movie called "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind." Yeahhhh....the director of that movie has made some of the most amazing videos ever seen by the world.

And obviously, you have to see them to believe them. I honestly cannont take my eyes off the video while it's playing. The insane amount of camera tricks he uses is astounding. Actually, most recently I've been doing kind of the same thing, and then this weekend while wathing the "The Work Of Michel Gondry" DVD, I realized that we have connected before and subconciously I've been trying to imitate his work—I just didn't know it was his work. [it's all technical mumbo-jumbo....you'll have to email me for me to explain. Or, just watch some of my commercials....I use that 'image pan/zoom' technique.]

Earlier tonight I started the "The Work Of Spike Jonze" DVD, and while Spike is good......he is a total amateur compared to Michel.



In fact, Fuck You Spike Jonze.
------------------------------------
**Surprise Movie Discussion!!!**
Tonight's Film: "Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride"

If I were to say that 'The Corpse Bride' was anything less than magical, I would be speaking out of my ass. In general, animated musicals always have that ability to fascinate even the oldest children. Even 24-year old children. But, when Tim Burton does an animated musical, he not only fascinates.....he tends to use Danny Elfman and lots of skeletons.

I'm angry b/c when I was young my mom didn't really like Tim Burton, so she didn't really want me watching his movies. Well, actually the only one she never let me watch was "Nightmare Before Christmas." I saw the other movies on TV.

Now, I can watch what I damn well please.....and Tim decides to do another stop-motion fantasy at the right time. I will admit, it's not particularly for children.....unless they're cool with dead people......but it's a fun film.

The only problem: it was really short. Yeah, it seemed to just be picking up pace and then just ended. I thought there was room for an expanded plot about the corpse bride and her killer....and that somehow seeing him at the wedding would bring back memories how he killed her, and then she would realize that she shouldn't marry Johnny Depp, and then more stuff would happen, and then it would be really happy.


****SPOILERS*****
Nah....it's basically Johnny Depp is betrothed to someone he doesn't know....they meet, he likes her but fucks up wedding vows at rehearsal....goes into forest to pout......recites vows....ring falls on corpse finger.....poof they're married, he's underground.....they go up, they go back down, then back up to make it official......and at the last moment the corpse bride sees real bride and says 'nah, you have him' and flutters away as butterflies.****END SPOILERS******

As I said.......every scene is just so enjoyable that you forget to notice the time and detail it took to make this world. Even with fun visuals and eye-popping songs, there just wasn't enough. I'm going to buy the DVD with the hope that they filmed about 25 more minutes but just cut it out.

Even Though I Hate Posting Lyrics....

(with the exception of "So Long & Thanks For All The Fish")

On my way home tonight I heard Supertramp on the radio. Yes...Supertramp....on a Mississippi radio station. Anyway...it was the song from "Magnolia", 'Goodbye Stranger.' And yes.....I was singing the high parts.


Other than that......I now have a MySpace page; whoopty shit. Please by my friend, though. I'll sing you Supertramp songs. Well, one at least.

Goodbye stranger, it's been nice
Hope you find your paradise
Tried to see your point of view
Hope your dreams will all come true
Goodbye Mary, Goodbye Jane
Will we ever meet again?
Feel no sorrow, feel no shame
Come tomorrow, feel no pain

Ok, that should do it for song lyrics for the next year.
-------------------------
I'm glad they found out what was 'down the hatch' on 'Lost,' and was again dumb-founded by what they, ummmm, found. I watched it with AdamGore at the TV station, and he had never seen the show so I'm curious what he thought, seeing as how he had no clue what the fuck was happening, or at least couldn't be involved in the characters and didn't know their stories.
--------------------------
I feel so embarassed when I make movie references to my mom without thinking about how she (1) has no sense of humor, and (2) doesn't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Tonight when I came home I took a swig of grape juice, and did it wrong so I kind of choked on it. Walking back to my room she asked if I was taking a cold, and I told her "No, I've got a drinking problem (a la 'Airplane!')." She just said, oh. So I had to explain.

'Twas The Jedi Before Christmas....

I don't know who's bright idea it was.....but someone bought Grapefruit Air Freshener for the bathroom at work. And it's real Grapefruit...not grapefruit scent. My head is in citrusy overload........and frankly would rather endure the alternative. But, honestly, no one at work is the type to leave a, ummm, paper trail. So thankfully it's not a Grapefruit/Ass combo.

But still.......Grapefruit.

---------

The best times for me to come up with crazy shit is right when I wake up..and today I thought about how this Christmas, when churches are doing their Xmas Plays, I want to do something cool: The back doors of the church open....light spilling in from behind. A hooded figure (I came up with this after a shower with my towel) walks in, and Roman soldiers approach him. With a wave of the hand, the soldiers are choked by an unseen 'force.' The hooded figure approaches the baby Jesus, who is held captive by Jabba The Hut. Revealing himself to be a Jedi Knight, Jabba laughs and with a flash of a lightsaber he and his henchcreatures are killed. The Jedi escapes with the baby and frees young Mary and Joseph--who are held captive in carbonite.

Then there is a copper bikini thrown in somewhere.

Battle Of The Network Stars

I never thought I would return to Netsuck Tv, but this week may change that....

Tonight I laughed my butt off during 'Arrested Development', and Tuesday is the the premiere of 'My Name Is Earl', and Wednesday is the fated 'Lost' premiere.

And I am having to watch all of these at the TV station. Boy, what's it look like for the next 8 months of my life?

Burger King + David Bowie + Cigarettes

This is pretty bad: I just got home, and I tried to go to sleep......but I'm not sleepy. I'm doggone tired, but not sleepy. It's 3:45a.m.
-------------

---------------
I'll leave you with this:

So long and thanks for all the fish
So sad that it should come to this
We tried to warn you all but oh dear?

You may not share our intellect
Which might explain your disrespect
For all the natural wonders that
grow around you

So long, so long and thanks
for all the fish

The world's about to be destroyed
There's no point getting all annoyed
Lie back and let the planet dissolve around you.

Despite those nets of tuna fleets
We thought that most of you were sweet
Especially tiny tots and your
pregnant women

So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long

So long, so long and thanks
for all the fish

(yeah)

If I had just one last wish
I would like a tasty fish
If we could just change one thing
We would all have learnt to sing

Come one and all
Man and mammal
Side by side in life's great gene pool

So long so long, so long so long, so long so long, so long so long
So long so long, so long so long, so long so long, so long so long
So long so long and thanks for all the fish!!!!

Cry_Wolf

Have you ever told someone a "secret" just to see if they would tell other people? I've always had a secret urge to start a rumor just to see if it got back around. Then again, I don't hear gossip anyway.....but you know.

So ten minutes into David Spade's new show, I'm liking it. Well, it's ok. It seems almost like he's just now getting to around to cash in on his "Hollywood Minute"..........ten years later. I'm not paricularly a fan, but I love how he 'rips Tinseltown a new one.'

Cliche Cliche Cliche.....

Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche. Cliche cliche cliche. Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche, cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche, Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche. Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche; cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche. Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche. Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche.....cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche.

Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche. Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche, cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche, cliche cliche cliche. Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche. Cliche cliche cliche cliche. Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche.........Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche. Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche. Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche. Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche! Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche. Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche. Cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche.

Enter Now For A Chance To Win!!

"Big Mutha Truckers 2"......only $19.95!

Kurt Vonnegut has a new book out!!! He's on The Daily Show!!! JoelG still has my 'Slaughterhouse Five'!!! He's a bastard!!! I Love Kurt Vonnegut!!

I bought "Lost" on DVD....and I am absolutely a fan. I had the luxury of watching the entire 1st season over 2 days this weekend; but the new season starts next Wednesday....so this means that for the next 24 weeks I have to find a TV where I can pick up ABC and be glued for one hour a week. It's sad that when each episode would end, I would get pissed off, I would actually forget that in 35 seconds a new episode would start. How am I going to handle the next 8 months?

I never have, and never really will respect Adam Corrolla. He has a new show, and I can't take my eyes off it, but it's just b/c it seems like he's bombing. He hasn't really mastered the art of entertaining.

You Don't Wear Sexy Underwear Unless You Intend Someone To See Them

"The 40-Year Old Virgin" + "The Brothers Grimm"

"Virgin" AKA "Judd Apatow Gets To Make A Movie":

I wanted to see this as soon as I heard Judd "Co-Creator of 'Freaks&Geeks'" Apatow was writing/directing this movie. It was supposed to be about a nice guy--who has a collection of toys and lives a mediocre, non-exciting life--who just simply never really got to have sex. It's something that just never happened for him, but it's not really something that he thinks about. He just lives his life by himself, and works at an electronics store, and wathces 'Survivor' with his elderly neighbors. And, he has a framed poster of "Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie" on his wall.

I just knew I had to see it.

The film was great: Every bit of casting was perfect....especially Seth Rogen. I've always liked him. Now, I've stated before that I really hate the "American Pie"/"Let's Get Laid" teenager movies that are only about sex and cheap humor and picture good-looking teens trying to have sex way before they are old enough. But, the subject of an average-looking guy in his 40s having his co-workers try to get him laid is different. (Somehow, it's different. There's still cheap humor jokes, though.) The movie covers a wide range, though....it goes from the "I've done that before!" opening scene, to the wild and wacky song and dance number at the end---that was halfway choreographed, but looked great b/c Seth Rogen didn't have a shirt on, and Paul Rudd is a horrible dancer.

"Grimm" AKA "Terry Gilliam Is Out There, Man":

The second of the double feature was "The Brothers Grim." I would say 'We all know the fairy tales,' but I should probably say 'I hope you guys know the fairy tales.' I know bits and pieces, but I never actually read the for-real Grimm fairy tales. Only the ones in which Bert and Ernie were the main characters. However, this movie is NOT just all the tales rolled together somehow. It's actually about how the Grimm brothers use folklore to create fake monsters to scare the townspeople, and then get hired to sort of 'exorcise' the town and get paid lots of money. Then.....turns out there is a real demon out there and they must use their resources to stop it. Sounds simple and Hollywood, huh? HERE's the kicker: It actually takes place in French-occupied Germany, and the French general is pissed off that the Germans are pissed off that they are being occupied, and he wants the Brothers Grimm to find out who is 'supposedly' perpetrating the 'fake' haunting, so that the townspeople will like him. See.....right here it's a different motive for saving the town..not a 'let's save the day' routine but a 'let's save the day or we lose our heads' routine. There's a bit of history in there somewhere.

The effects are more pretty than realistic, but the style is fast paced and looks very off-kilter like the production was rushed and they didn't even have time to set up the shot correctly. However, that's Terry Gilliam's style. Terry "The American Python [The animator]" Gilliam is a little out there. He's like Tim Burton, only menacing instead of magical. Much like "War Of The Worlds," I believe this movie deserves a "Very Strong PG-13" title, not just plain jane PG-13. It's a little scary, and graphic in parts......and actually I don't know how they even got away with some of the stuff here in 2005 (the age of PETA). The name "Grimm" immediately makes you think its fairy tale stuff for the family, but it should be marketed as scary stuff for the older crowd.

Nonetheless I thouroughly enjoyed both movies......you should too.

One Of Those Times I Want To Die Or Want Others To Die...

Let me state that I was conciously avoiding the "H" word b/c I knew every other blog in the entire world has said something about Hurricane Katrina, and I thought it was bullshit. Same thing with the last hurricane: You people live there, you knew what hurricanes do, just leave, and anyone north of Jackson is just gonna get lots of rain and wind. So, no need for us in Calhoun to get all panicky. I was actually in Booneville Monday until 4, drove back to Bruce, then actually stayed at Andrew's house for about an hour to listen to some of his new stuff, knowing that I had no electricity at home. But that was fine, b/c I knew I could go home and read by candlelight...and assuming no trees would fall into my room, when I woke up Tuesday everything would be fine and it would be life as usual.

BUT....I did not even watch the news until Wednesday night.

I heard stories all day about flooding in New Orleans (caused by the levees failing, NOT the storm per se.) and realized that now one thing has happened that I had always heard about, and it's here. I knew that blah blah blah Biloxi and Gulfport would be in bad shape....yeah you build your city on the coast and that tends to happen. I mean, through thousands of years of civilization, people have adapted to their surroundings...and this is just another thing: Live on coast--big storm--you rebuild--live for another year.

BUT....New Orleans. A city that's below sea level. (Not sure what that means, but everyone says it) Now, I'm only seeing the news on Wed. and Thurs. night, which concerns the evacuation/shitty shape of The Big Easy......and I want to shoot myself, or go down there and start taking people out.

The people that couldn't get out of the city are the ones that had no means to get out. These were the poor, people in the ghetto, people in downtown, people who needed the most help to begin with. Now, the place is absolute chaos b/c no one is helping them. I know 'help is on the way,' but if we've got a fucking FEMA and LEMA and MEMA and Department of Homeland Security, and all we've got is a fucking color-coded chart, we are fucked. We are letting those people die and get sick for whatever reasons......

Now, if I can step across the line....they are fucking themselves. If certain people are so inhumane and worthless that they would actually SHOOT at rescue workers.....I say let 'em crash. Just let those fuckers rot to death if they are not going to be civil. Fuck patience......I know they are without food and water and clean places to take a shit, but those are the times when you NEED organization....whether you have to do it yourselves. But, if you loot a gun store and try to use your newly found power to take over the city....fuck you. Your grandmothers and your babies are dying b/c you won't let people do what little they can to help you.

Now........(as part of the American mind-set) someone is to blame. From what I understand (don't laugh, seriously), New Orleans had at one point requested money from Congress b/c their current levee system could only withstand a Category 3 storm, and needed to renovate the system. However, they were rejected ALOT of money b/c.....anyone? anyone?......President Bush needed that money in.....anyone? anyone?....IRAQ. Now, do you get the picture? But, as much as we want to blame President Creamface, New Orleans itself knew its own dangers. Maybe they tried, who knows?

I won't get to watch the news until late tonight or early Saturday, so hopefully by then some kind of rescue will be going on in New Orleans. I think the National Guard is on it's way.....just so they can get water and food down there to stabilize the sane people until they can be bussed out, and shoot the motherfuckers that make living in the world so unpleasant.

Either way, I STILL don't have internet at my house...and I'm blaming George W. Bush.

TDS Is A Big Fat Weiner

So here's the deal.......lately I have been getting spam comments. Well, now when I log into Blogger Dashboard, I conveniently have to option to 'Use Word Recognition' everytime one of you guys post a comment. So, I won't do it yet b/c then I just know you'll be too lazy to even post a damn comment.

So deal with it, jerks.

Talk About Quick Action....

I'm not sure if this a Napolean Dynamite tie-in, but it is DEFINITELY quick work in merchandising!!! (it's regarding 700 Club's Pat Robertson claim that the U.S. should 'take out' Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez--who is trying to make himself just like Castro.)

Class Of 2000!

""Can you believe it's been five years already!!!!
We hope to see each and everyone at our next class reunion!!!! We missed a lot of you last year, but maybe you can make it this year!

Date: Sept. 4, 2005

Time: 1:00 Until!

Place: Casey's camphouse (*1st road to the left past the academy)

**Please R.S.V.P. to Jennifer Ruth (983-5803) or Kristy Gary (901-412-9664) and let them know what snack or dish you will be bringing.

****BYOB!!!


We look forward to seeing everyone....come bring a date or husband/wife...and enjoy catching up!!!

See ya there!""

Just A Couple Of Things And Then You Can Go Back To Googling Your Own Name....

1. Spent Most Time With/Talked To Josh Mousie probably the most I've ever known him...and he was Never Cry Wolf version 2.0. We rode to Oxford together to get beer, and talked about Charlie Chaplin and different things. Good times.

2. Coming home tonight, Calhoun City from just below the Hospital to the west side of the square (towards Big Creek) was completely dark. For some reason Vicki "Mama's Family" Lawrence's "Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia" ran through my head. I had the radio on scan b/c I forgot my MP3 player....and---I SHIT YOU NOT---Vicki "Mama's Family" Lawrence's "Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia" was on 92.3 just south of Calhoun City. I swear to fucking Nick Frost.

3. I got home, and waiting on me was a sealed, never opened DVD of "Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie", which was no longer pressed after 1998. I got it for $30 off eBay, as opposed to the previous auctions I've seen that started at $70.

I'll Kick Your Kid's Teeth In...

Before I get to the 'example of poor parenting,' I must get this out of the way:

I got to see the "King Kong" trailer in the theater, and once again I peed a little. My bowels opened up as well and just lost all involuntary (or is it voluntary?) functions momentarily and I was left with a glimmer in my eye and a stain in the seat. So I moved to another seat. I swear, I don't know how I'll contain myself during the actual movie. At the end of the trailer, when the T-Rex roars and Kong pounds the ground.....it's basically a "Let's go, bitch" growl and all hell is about to break loose. Anyway...on to the better portion of the post.

An example of bad parenting: Taking your kids (10 years or younger) to see "War Of The Worlds." And, being an asshole by talking at your normal "Hi, two coffees, please" voice DURING the fucking movie. To your kids. "What are they mom?"......"They're bodies, honey. Look....a whole river of dead bodies."....."Yeayyyyy mommie! Dead people! Oh, look....it's raining clothes! ahahahah!"

I swear, if I was one seat to the right I would have kicked that kid's seat everytime he spoke. What's worse is about halfway into the movie, these people's 'friends' and 'daughter' came in and just stood at the entrance there while a teenage girl STOOD there talking to her mom in the seat about stuff. So the other people just decide to have a seat for a bit as if they paid to see this movie from the beginning. Then, after about 15 minutes of restless kids and laughing, the entire clan gets up and just leaves.

So yes....yesterday was supposed to be a double feature with "The 40 Year Old Virgin" and "War Of The Worlds," but Natalie was in Starkville and Andrew wanted to get home early to record a little bit so it was cut down to just one movie. And I was being nice and went for "War" b/c I knew he should watch it in the theater if at all.

And then.......it happened. As if that movie weren't terrifying enough, we walked out of the theater and he said "my knee hurts like fuck.....it's gonna rain." So, seeing the beautiful setting sun to the west, we shrugged and started our way home. Before we got off 78, there was lighting in the distance. Yes....only if you've seen the movie will you make the connection. Then came the crazy talk: "Dude, the aliens are here." "What would you do?" "I would rather them just evaporate me than get stuck with that needle or eaten by that sphincter/butt thing" "JoelG would just look up and mouth 'Oh YEAH!'" Ok, it's not as scary typing this morning, but when you are driving in a storm after seeing a movie about aliens that come down in lightning and you're with a friend and all you can do is go over scenarios.....it's pretty scary.

I finished Paul Feig's book "SUPERSTUD: Or How I Became A 24-Year Old Virgin" and have read one chapter into his first book, "Kick Me: Adventures In Adolescence." He's got a great way of writing and the subject matter is basically the same for all of us: Losers have it the worst. This guy has lived it, and, well, it does seem there is hope. Things can only get better. Sadly, it may not be until I'm 40 years old.....but by then maybe I can fit in a little better.


Sigh. Normalcy.

And You Can Take That To The Bank....

So, it's about time I do this:

I have no problems with Adrien Brody.

He has by no means moved to my 'favorite actor list', but he is officially off the 'people I don't like' list. I have yet to see [the supposedly good] "The Pianist," but I really enjoyed "Dummy" a lot, and in order for me to enjoy "King Kong" there are some issues I had to work out. I'm also giving Jack Black a chance.....so we'll see.

That's all..........go about your business.

It's Like Ketchup.....With A Kick

So I read great news: There ARE 'Kermit's 50th Anniversary' DVDs coming later this year, and included among them will be "The Muppet Movie." This is great.....I had read that the original DVD (now out of print) was a pretty poor transfer and was not remastered or anything. So, before I spent about $40-50 on eBay, it's good that this came along.
---------------------
In other news, 'A Prairie Home Companion: The Rhubarb Tour Live Show' was great. We were kinda far away, and the fat guy next to me was spilling over into my seat, but the "News From Lake Wobogon" story alone was worth the price of the ticket. They were obviously so glad to be in Mississippi that they performed numerous Elvis songs....and at the end let everyone sing along to "Can't Help Falling In Love With You"....which was AMAZING to hear a coliseum-full of people singing in unison. If you have not yet heard of or are forced listen to 'Prairie Home Companion' only when you are in the car with me, I would recommend becoming a frequent listener of this program. Just b/c it's on public radio doesn't mean it's classical music. And to see it live is a great experience.

I hope to [someday soon] drive up to St. Paul for a weekend and see a live performance.
------------
Not a whole lot else....I still want some Oreos. I had promised myself that while on vacation I would get back into working out---I haven't done any since my dad was home for a leave and then....left. But I've had to eat either fried/greasy or fast food everyday since last Thursday, so I may go ahead and knock off a bag just b/c I feel fat.

Gosh, that sounded so girly.
---------------
I think I got scammed on eBay. Just a few days too early to tell...but I got that feeling.

Another Naughty Moment.....(almost as tasty as Oreos....)

I want to take that computer outside. I want to just open it up and reach for the wires. I want to fucking grab those wires and just yank them loose so the computer can't function. I want to fucking kick the computer. I want to get a large mallet, or possibly a sledge hammer and just fucking bang the shit out of that computer. Oooooh, just let the sweat roll down my face as I watch the computer lay dead and its parts scattered around.

He Did A Bad Bad Thing

I want to do something...naughty.

I want to go to the store and buy a bag of DoubleStuff Oreos...and eat the whole bag. I want to fucking eat those DoubleStuff Oreos to bits. I want to soak them in milk for 20 seconds and then fucking suck the milk out of them, then put two in my mouth at the same time and let there be a fucking DoubleStuff Oreo mush in my mouth before I just chew them up after they have been in milk for 20 seconds and in my hot mouth for 10 more.

Oh, so fucking hot.

Night Watch (Nochnoi Dozor)

Is anyone else as interested in this Trilogy as me? We saw the preview before "Kung Fu Hustle" and I was blown away. But then again, the first "Matrix" movie rocked socks, and, well.....you know.

Men Be All Sitting On Benches At The Mall

There are 2 kinds of people: those whose lives revolve totally around sex, and those who don't like to watch movies made by said individuals.

To put it another way......"The Dukes Of Hazzard Movie" sucked.

Now, I'm not trying to be like/influenced by Ben "Cooter" Jones, but I do think the recent film adaptation should be boycotted by Dukes Fans. The only resemblance it has to the show is that it's. called "The Dukes Of Hazzard" and has the same characters.

I found myself thinking the movie was good at times b/c it had a few humorous parts, the car chases were AWESOME!! and it had a pretty funny handling of the General Lee's racy (forgive the pun) paintjob. But, on the other hand, here's where the movie went wrong:

Sean William Scott, Willie Nelson, M.C. Gainey, and whoever wrote the dialogue for 'Enos.'

I should say Burt Reynolds missed the mark too, but only b/c I like the over-the-top and zany Boss Hogg & Roscoe—However, Burt Reynolds was fantastic as an assholish Boss.

Granted, the movie resembled the first 6 episodes of the 1st season more than it did the entire series—actually, it was more like the pilot episode. When the show first began, it was a bit edgy, with Bo and Luke always making out with girls and talking about having sex and stuff. There were several 'damns' and 'hells', and Daisy Duke would use her ass at a moment's notice to help out her cousins. But at some point in the first season, the show took a drastic turn and became campy, with slapstick humor provided by Roscoe and Boss Hogg and it was always about the Duke cousins helping out friends or random strangers passing through town. But, as it progressed it did become very family-friendly. I think that's what gave it the appeal and why so many of us were raised on/by that show.

But, now as I watch the show in present-day on DVD, I look at it and think about how unrealistic it is. So called "good 'ol boys" of today drink lots of beer, drive big trucks and have lots of sex (I guess). As I watch the show I think about how if it wasn't TV, the Dukes would be swearing alot and banging all the chicks in Hazzard. Well, now that I've seen it in the movie I don't want it.

Hazzard was better as pure entertainment......NOT a stark reality of how much sex I'm not having.

I'm sorry, I guess I'm turning this into more of a rant against everything that I'm not. I've just been on an insecure kick for the last week or so. But, back to the movie......

Anyway.....I've mentioned the good parts, so here's the bad: Uncle Jesse is supposed to be the patriarch...the glue that holds the family together. He loves his family and (in the show) gave up moonshining so that Bo and Luke wouldn't go to prison. Well, in the movie he's just a dirty old man who tells jokes and drinks alot. Yeah, as part of the movie, the Dukes are still heavy in the moonshine business. You see, in the show.....Bo and Luke are on probation and THAT's why they aren't allowed to use guns and therefore use bows and arrows. **cough cough.....conveniently left out..cough** Also, as stated in the pilot, Enos is 'the oldest virgin in Hazzard' and that's the reason Daisy can get any information out of him. Well, he's also a pure soul. What made me sick was the first words out of Enos' mouth in the film is 'Aww, hell, Bo and Luke.' Just sickening. And so playing Roscoe was the naked fat man from "Sideways." He's much better without clothes on. Funnier, anyway. He was also the sheriff/governor in 'Run Ronnie Run.' I guess since I liked evil Boss Hogg, I can't complain about evil Sheriff Roscoe.

Oh, and I fucking hate Stifler. Therefore....I hate Sean William Scott. He's the epitome of 'guy who was funny in a shitty movie b/c he said "fuck" and "shitbrick" alot, therefore is loved by cool people.'

Oh, and armadillo helmets are VERY VERY funny!!!

Iron Balls McGinty

(And yes......'The Jerk' DVD is good b/c it's in widescreeen (previous DVD was FullScreen), but that's IT. But I shouldn't complain. I laughed so hard at the cat juggling that it made up for it.
-------------
So after I finished 'Army Of Darkness' this morning, I realized that Bruce Campbell needs to star in a major motion picture that makes LOTS of moeny, so they'll release "The Adventures Of Brisco County, Jr." on DVD. I loved that show.

(By the way AdamH, it's well worth the $7.50 at WalMart, but you should see Evil Dead I & II first........or at least II.)

The last thing he was in was 'Bubba Ho-Tep', but I don't think that was a 'big' movie. He needs another Sam Rami movie, but Sam is too busy making Spidermen movies. There is rumor that he'll produce an Evil Dead remake, but Bruce doesn't really want a cameo or anything. So........looks like I'll have to find a bootleg collection of 'Briso County' on eBay.

The Dance......

Looking back......I noticed that I started this Waste Of Space so-called 'diary' and made my first post on December 28, 2003. So, in a few months it will be a full 2 years. Wow. Things have really changed since then; for example, here's something that I would NOT have really said 2 years ago: "Wow, if I keep this up for two years, I need to have a celebration to mark the anniversary of my blog. I think I'll just get wasted out of my mind b/c that's the cool thing to do and I'm all about being cool."

Sheesh, things have changed.

-----
Speaking of boring and updating, I have actually been busy lately, plus it's the summer so my mind is preoccupied and drained by the summer blockbusters so I haven't been posting alot. Maybe in the fall and winter I will get depressed again and spout off lame shit about how much life sucks. But then again, you will get bored b/c I won't be telling you anything new. Life sucks for everyone. Dang, now I'm getting depressed.

Ahhh......Sheryl Crow.......

A good reason to NOT buy a Dell. Thank you corporate spokespersons!
---------------------
So why the heck is it that I have really no time to read books, I have a stack of books a year old that I have yet to read......but when I walk into a book store I can't help but buy a book and I see so many that I want to buy? I mean, there's a whole other world out there if you are a reader. But at this point it's hard for me to budget time for reading, b/c my current 'thing' is supposed to be watching movies. But, I walk into a book store, and I'm ready to give all that up at a moment's notice. It's like a religious experience.....but my movies and TV shows are my vices.
---------------------
Rebates.

Yes.....rebate offers are bollocks. Here's the deal: Usually they are so complicated or so specific that it's better to just let that $100 go than to try to redeem it. Here's an example:

I'm trying to redeem a Circuit City rebate, and here's the problem: not only do I have to get copies of reciepts, and copies of UPC codes, but I also have to verify everything on the receipts. Here's where I found a mistake: My address was incorrectly listed as me living in 'Laurel, MS 34900'. Now.....even if I mumbled, HOW IN THE HOLY HECK could 'Calhoun City, MS 38916' been heard incorrectly? Now, if I didn't catch that, my rebate would have been invalid or sent to the wrong address. Thusly, I would be out 100 clams. Or dollars.

Just an observation.

Morgan Freeman Can Do Whatever He Wants...

Tonight's topic: Penguin Doodles. Penguins in heat. Cold as a bucket of Penguin Poop.

No no no.......the movie was nothing like that.

I got to see 'March Of The Penguins' Friday night and again, I was stupefied my these nature films.

Ok, of late I have watched (actually it was about a year ago in my documentary class, which I promptly got from Netflix) a movie called "Winged Migration." It's made by a French filmmaker and follows the migration of a flock of geese. Well, watching this movie is stunning.....you actually fly with the birds, right next to them in the air. There is a bit of emotion: heartbreak when some of them die, and happiness at the sheer beauty. Lots more emotions, just don't feel like mentioning them now.

Anyway......turns out that when you watch the special features you realize you have been slightly tricked. The movie took four years to make: They actually bred the birds, built ultralight planes that were quiet, but raised the birds and trained them to fly with the planes so they could be filmed. It was a documentary of sorts, but it was more about the beauty of migration than about getting it on film as it happens naturally.

Which brings me to penguins.

From what I can find, this movie was actually shot on location and captured the true story of how Emperor Penguins march 70 miles, breed, then several weeks later when the egg is....ummmm, born?......it is handed to the father as the mother waddles back 70 miles to eat. Meanwhile, the eggs are hatched under the fathers' care, but the fathers haven't eaten for 4 months, so they have to wait for the mothers to return. When they do, the chicks are fed by the moms, then handed off to the mothers whle the dads go eat (70 miles away). Then, when the fathers return, there is much rejoicing......as the chicks learn to walk and be Emperor Penguins. Then, the mothers and fathers must leave and waddle back home 70 miles away, leaving the chicks to themselves......until spring comes and the ice breaks away so that the ocean is only a few hundred yards away, after which the chicks make their way to the ocean and swim away.......only to return in 4 years to breed.

And all that happens in 85 fantastic minutes----but it's a bit more complex than that on film. As the posters say: it is a story about love. It's just so amazing to see what these penguins do and how they live and survive. I really do like nature films, and this is one for the books.

Oh, and Morgan Freeman narrates.

DillyDally

Would the Presidential Prayer Team still exist if John Kerry would have been elected? I doubt so.

Don't you hate when you call a wrong number.....and the person is really rude about it? I think so.

And yes.....b/c of the new T.G.I.Friday's commercial where the guy dances to 'Tequila' on the table......I have ordered "Pee Wee's Big Adventure." So sue me.

Anyway......it was Tim Burton's first movie so yeayyy!

Daisy Steiner: Case-In-Point

Oh, that lovable fantasy-roomate Daisy Steiner.

Her hangup.......she is work-weary. She avoids work whenever possible. She obviously has the creative talent, but when she sits down at the typewriter, she immediately finds something else to do or welcomes a visit from Brian or Marsha.

I often feel that I'm like Daisy.

You see, every time that I see JoelG (which is a rarer occasion these days) he always asks if I'm doing anything creative now. When I reply that I don't, he gets mad, and tells me that I have to have done something the next time he sees me.

But my problem is that I just don't feel that creative jump. I mean I have ideas and bits and pieces, but I just don't do anything about them. What I want to do requires money, time, and a great deal of help.

But bollocks to all that....it's really late I should be in bed but I have an eBay auction ending soon and I have to stay awake to win......................dammit.

You're Ugly And Hung Like A Hampster.....

So my dad came home Sunday for a 2-week leave. Actually, it was nothing special or a big to-do about it. It was mostly like every other day when he used to come home:

Put his wallet and watch in the breadbox, and walk back to the bathroom. After about 15 minutes you can hear my mom say "You can flush now" and light a candle. Ahhhh....good to have him back.
----------
So all in the course of one day I have:

1. Purchased tickets to "Prairie Home Companion" at the BancorpSouth in Tupelo on August 16. I'm giddy as a schoolgirl for that one. Maybe in the fall I can drive to St. Paul to see it live.

2. Tried to buy a 5-pack stick of gum when I was running late....only to have the 4 cashiers at the gas station with the register open and the tray out and disconnecting the credit-card reader and saying "It'll be a few minutes."

3. Walked by a box of those pool noodle/floaty things at WalMart as they [at the SAME instant] fell over onto me. I could have sworn I was on Candid Camera. Look for me....

4. Hugged JoelG (twice) and heard him use the term "GrudgeFuck."

5. Played (to shitty avail) a banjo.

TwistAndDoShit

Wow.....that was a bit weird, huh?

Ok here's what happened (as if I were NOT going to tell):

So my brother's 10-year high school reunion was tonight, but obviously he couldn't go b/c there's a little skirmish in the mid-east right now, and he's having to help with that. So one of his friends called today and wanted to come by and pick up any pics we had of him over there just to take so he could still 'go to the reunion' or whatever.

So the dude comes in (btw....it's the "He took my boat" guy from Ultra Run 2) and has to wait for me to print out the pics. So he's standing in my room looking over my collection, and we are totally talking about movies. He actually knew what "Osama" was. He saw Marvin on my desktop and said "I see you have Marvin on your desktop. He has 1.) LISTENED to the Hitchhiker's Guide, 2.) READ at least the first book and 3.) SAW the movie, and agreed that it was really dumbed down and Americanized. He loved 'Batman Begins', enjoyed 'War Of The Worlds' until the end, hated 'The Forgotten', and wanted to know if 'Donnie Darko' would really blow his mind.

There's alot more, but I just thought it was neat that we had similar (and decent) tastes in movies. I forgot to ask about "Shaun" though, and if I would have thought I would have given him 'Spaced.'

Oh well.......I'll probably see him in a few years.

Ok, yes, I'm really so sorry that you lost your home and everything......but, you live on the coast. Hurricanes happen.

I mean, it's not like I can move to another state and not worry about my home being destroyed by fire.

Smorgasboard Of Eccentricities

So I just rememberd the $20 I'll never see again:

Last week, we pulled into the Malco at Tupelo and as I was getting out of my side when a woman was standing there. The first thing she said was that she wasn't trying to freak me out or anything...which usually happens when I open a door and a woman is waiting to talk to me.

She gave her sad story of how she was visiting someone in the hospital, and someone stole her purse and she had twin babies at home that she needed to get to, yet she needed gas money and some to buy fix-a-flat for her car (and maybe enough for a soda also) and that her friend who works at the theater wasn't there so she was basically stranded. Now, all of this seemed credible b/c she said she was from Bruce and all this.

So, being the good samaritan that I am I gave her money and my address so she could repay me. Now, all of this would have been solved if I was mechanically inclined and I could have gone to look at her car and truly help her. BUUUUUTTTT........we were almost late for the movie and, I mean shit man, it was "War Of The Worlds", I wasn't gonna miss that for some slut who needed money for cocaine.

Which brings me to my philosophy: Do a good deed for someone. 'Good deed' is defined as something that makes someone else happy. Whether that means helping them get home to feed their babies or buy some crack to smoke or even jerk off a quadrapeligic. (that was just once, and I wore eye protection) Do what you gotta do, mon frer.
____________________

Over the course of the last 7 days I have •acquired a 'porn buddy', •smoked alot of cigarettes, •in 2 days consumed more calories than the past 7 days, •learned that sometimes your passion can mean more to you than family and you may still seem happy even though most people just laugh at your passion, •discussed to great length (yet not with much embarrassment or alcohol) what 'the whole deal' is with me and that other people may actually see me differently than how I see myself, •watched an episode of "The O.C.," •gotten into a state of anxiety/depression brought on by work, •in the course of an hour poured my soul out onto the table yet somehow brought it back to George Lucas and promtly put a stop to that, •got caught with a Bette Midler CD, and •at some point called you an asshole, though not to your face.

I just thought I could sum up lots of things without detail. I also sometimes loathe this blog, yet also take it for granted. I try to resist those shitty 'what does it all mean' posts, as well as those 'hey, I bought a new StarWars toy today' posts. I really don't know what my readers want. So I hope that just exposing you to new things is what I do, not boring crap you already know/don't care about.

peace out, homies

Ok, I promise to crappily review "War Of The Worlds" as soon as I feel like it and hopefully before I forget it. Until then......

Well I'm saddened tonight; I went to ptanderson.com to see what my favorite director's current film projects are and discovered that the site is closing for good. The reason? Lack of any news.

So.....has the slack for "Magnolia" finally got to him? Have enough retards who thought "Punch-Drunk Love" 'wasn't funny' finally influenced him to stop making movies? I mean, come on, everyone loved "Boogie Nights", well, everyone except Don, but he has shitty tastes in movies anyway.

Oh well....the good news is that Cameron Crowe's got a new film coming soon, "Elizabethtown," and it stars (hooray!) Orlando Bloom.....or as I call him, 'Legolas.' It looks pretty good....I mean previews are misleading but Cameron always [a.] writes a good story and [b.] has a good soundtrack to his movies.

I'll sign off now.....I'm feeling unloved again.

So.......

Who else watched an Expressionistic German silent film today?

Oddly enough, this guy is probably the basis for the look of Edward Scissorhands:
(Not a good picture of him walking, thoug)

I just saw MY "Corps Of Engineers At Grenada Lake" TV ad on ESPN2 during "3"!!!!!!!!!

I just saw an ad I did on cable TV that WASN'T W07BN!!!!

(it makes me happy)

Hit Me Baby, One More Time.....

So yet another wedding today. (I mean I was actually IN one this time.)

Thankfully, after this one I don't feel depressed and my life doesn't seem much different (once AGAIN I'm thinking about ME ME ME......to heck with other people's feelings). After Andrew's wedding I think I went home and just went to bed. It kinda made me feel sick inside b/c I knew things would be different.

And, to make it better this is also a recent wedding in which I was NOT told by the mom of the bride that "It should have been me up there....I was the one she should have married."

And yes....I am dead serious when I tell you that at least 2 (two) moms have said that to me/about me while at a wedding in the past few years. It seems like there is one more, but I can't think of it right now. I'm probably just being pretentious or pompous or both or whatever.

But no, I think it was cool and I wasn't reminded of how some people are just meant to be happy yet I have to bear this burden of being unhappy forever. BUUUTTTTTTT....in the second series of "Spaced," Brian finds out that if he is actually happy and dating Twist....he loses any inspiration for his [bleak] art. Maybe that's what I'm meant to do. I'm supposed to videotape people's weddings, and out of frustration for the happiness that they have, I strive to make their video look as good as I want it to be (wishing that I were in their places) and it turns out excellent.

Either that or they have poor lighting and it looks like crap.

Earlier tonight I saw an M&M's commercial that featured Iron & Wine's version of "Such Great Heights." It was like a kaleidescope of M&M's set to that slow version of the Postal Service song.

Yep. Weird huh?




(Btw.......that is the song played in the movie 'Garden State' when they are in bed together...in case you are a non-Iron & Wine listener.)

HOLY COW......DID YOU JUST SEE THAT?

Ok, it's my fault b/c I didn't tell you, my lovelies, that tonight at 8pm was the NBC premiere of the movie trailer for "KING KONG."

And when I say NBC, I mean EVERYTHING the network owns. It was on NBC, MSNBC, Sci-Fi, USA, Bravo, and everything else owned by NBC-Universal. It was the first ever simultaneous roadblock. But enough about that.........how did it look????

Oh my goodness gracious me......this movie looks sooo scary, and soo entertaining. Oh man, the TRAILER had me on the edge of my bed. I think Jack Black IS going to be great as Carl Denham, I think the dinosaurs will be awesome, and, well, it'll be so sad to see that big bad ape fall.

To top it off.....the trailer ended with the classic "Ok bitch.....let's ROCK" King Kong vs. Tyrannosaurus Rex stand-off, which looked so awesome—Kong rolling around with Ann Darrow while fighting at the same time.....just sooo rocking.

What T'd me O though was when it was over I walked to the kitchen and asked my mom what she thought. She said King Kong didn't interest her and she had turned off the TV.

This is the same woman who—a mere 5 minutes earlier—had said that Martin Luther King, JR. should NOT have been part of the "Greatest Americans" list.


............yep. She said that. Annnnnnd she said that Reagan should have.



............yep. She said that, too. I was what Reagan had done and she said "Alot." And what MLK did and she said "Nothing."









...............I end with that.

When There Is Nore More Room In Hell The Dead Shall Walk The Earth....

George A. Romero has returned. The man who basically defined the 'Zombie Horror Film' Genre is back with his film "Land Of The Dead."

So......is it his so-called 'masterpiece'? Not by any means. But it is really good.

Last Fall I saw "Shaun Of The Dead" and absolutely loved it. Of course, that movie is just pure fun and is merely an homage to zombie films, with a bit of romantic comedy thrown in for good measure. After I saw it I thought 'there must be something to this' so soon after I watched George A. Romero's orginal "Dawn Of The Dead" and—though not my brand of bitter—I know why his films are loved by many. It was good. (last years 'remake'---NOT by George---was also good, but only if you've seen the original.)

He masters in not only gross-out and highly realistic gore, but in throwing humor into a situation of worldwide chaos. Just the idea of living dead walking around and trying to perform mundane actions they did daily while alive can be rather funny. The whole point of "Dawn" was that people just wander around malls.....it's what they've done, have been conditioned to do.....and will do for the rest of their [non]lives.

There's also something a little humorous about the idea that once they've re-established a thriving community once again, living people will eventually take pleasure in just 'taking out' zombies as target practice or merely a way of ensuring survival. Primal Instinct or some crap like that.

So yes.....I was disturbed by things (mostly involving Army-type people being killed in non-zombie ways like grenades) but that's just the way it is. 90 minutes of escapism. (Although I'm glad I didn't go to "Bewitched" instead.)

It was actually a bit short.....I kinda wanted more. At this point I would give a vague plot description or some form of my twisted view.....but there's not really much there. People have walled up a city to keep out the xombies.....xombies begin to learn how to communicate and work together.....people get greedy and lead to their own demise.....and xombies eat lots of people.

So if I gave movies ratings these days, it would get a positive one. But I don't so I won't. Instead....just so I'm not misunderstood I'll say that I liked it.

Take that for what it's worth.

If not....see "Shark Boy and Lava Girl".....it's in 3D ANNNNNDDD it's by the same guy who made "Sin City." How's THAT for twisted?

Too Urgent NOT To Post About......

I just receieved—today—4 DVDs.

"What were they?" Let me tell you:

The Star Wars Trilogy Definitive Collection. Yes......All three Star Wars movies.......as they were released on LaserDisc in '97. That means.......preserved as they were before they were tampered with. Yes......the Original Hebrew Text of the movies as opposed to the New King James Versions.

And what was the 4th disc?

"Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith"

......uh huh.

(The 2 biggest problems: ROTS is scrunched down from widescreen, so everyone looks tall and skinny.....and there is a timecode on screen. But, still.)


I will treasure these DVDs, and you will too, I hope. —At this time I will admit that I believe "Empire Strikes Back" is the only of the Trilogy to actually BENEFIT from the Special Editions. Nothing major was touched....and what was added was actually cool (i.e. the Wampa and Cloud City backgrounds)

Mad As Heck And I'm Not Going To Take It Anymore.....

....And by "Not" I mean "Most Likely Will".

I'm Angry. Why am I angry? I'm angry b/c I lost something. I'm angry b/c I never lose anything. I take good care of all of my possessions; I always have—since I was little. I could never understand the kids that would bash/blow up their action figures. I mean...I would take mine outside, play with them in the mud, play with them in the bath, but NEVER dismember or harm them. (I would only take apart G.I. Joes to fix that rubber band that held their legs on.)

I've lost 2 things lately; the reason I'm mad is b/c I think they were stolen. And I don't randomly blame lost things on theft...b/c I rarely lose things and it seems that these were in fact stolen. Ok, before I become too redundant I'll explain:

Item #1: CD labels. Yes, not important, but serious b/c, well.....HOW COULD YOU LOSE CD LABELS? Actually, these were the CD core (the tiny ones) labels. Annnd.....they were in a drawer. At work. So, how could they have not been stolen. What's worse is.....why would anyone who may have taken them have a use for them?

Item #2: A USB Thumb Drive. Yes...important. I spent good money on that thing, and now it's gone. It had my initials on the back. The last time I remember having it was at work: I was showing someone a video of George W. Bush flipping off the camera before a TV Address. So that's when I had it. Annnd.....it was in a drawer. At work. So, how could it have not been stolen. What's worse is.....why would anyone who may have taken it have a use for it?

So there.

---------------

Also......Am I a 'Mac Guy'?

You see....my comp has gone kaspluey. So if I can't figure out what's wrong..(call me if you want to/can help)...it's time for a new PC. But....I think Bill Gates can lick my undercarriage.

So...I'm thinking of testing the waters a bit: "What If I bought a Mac?"

Am I cool enough for a Mac? You have to admit, Macs are pretty darn cool. They look good, and cool people have them.

Do I know how to work a Mac? The only experience I've had was at college, whether in my Web Design or TV Production classes, or in the library. The major problem was these seemed a little screwy...but I blame that on the fact they were PUBLIC comps, and lots and lots of people used them. Also, I'm all about custimization. I want it to look the way I want. I don't want my desktop to be a photo of a mountain range. I like basic gray. And....I hate icons. I will admit that currently my PC desktop is solid gray......with Marvin The Paranoid Android in the corner pointing at "My Computer" and "Recycle Bin"...but that just looks cool. How customizable are Macs? Oh oh oh, and I really hate not having 'right click.' But I would look forward to shortcuts. I would love to just hit 'Apple + J' to just do everything.

What about the software I like? I just wonder if I will be able to use the software essential to my life right now. I can do basic internet browsing and things..but what about my music? What about my video editing? I know Photoshop and Premiere will work on Macs....but I have to get separate software just for Macs, or will that install automatically?

For life or to 'just get by'? You know, after all this, I do think it's possible to either get an iBook or even the less expensive eMac to just use for things like the internet. I mean, face it: Macs are expensive. 2 to 3 times what I could get a decent WalMart PC for. So.....I would either invest alot of money in something that may be useful for me...or just the same amount until I got used to it.

How would it fit my setup? Oh yeah....I have a nice Computer Desk....it's lovely. Something like an eMac or iMac would look lovely sitting on top.....but what about the wasted 'tower unit cabinet'? I mean...if I got a G4 that would go in there, obviously.....so that means one day a PC may have to fill that space.

It's mostly used for design. Well..that's true. You always see anyone involved in doing Photoshop, Quark, DreamWeaver, or any video editing using a Mac. Well....that should tell me right there.

Crap........I got lots of thinking to do.

I'm Not Saying That, But.........

Ok, if you are immune to opinions and don't let them influence your own....then read on. If you like superhero movies in general and want to hear a positive review...the read on. If you think Batman can kick anyone's butt any day....then read on. If you like movies by Christopher Nolan—"Memento" and "Insomnia" are two...then read on. If you think movies are not over until the credits are through.....then read on.

This might be a stretch—and please don't think I'm dissing Tim Burton—but I think "Batman Begins" is the best Batman movie made so far.

Yep...I said it. I saw it today and I was blown away. Let me tell you what happened:

You are thrown right into things with a stately Young Bruce Wayne, not at Stately Wayne Manor.....but instead in some prison in Asia. Kinda weird..but you understand later that he's there learning the 'ways' of criminals; Not actually committing crimes. Well, he's visited in jail by QuiGon Jinn.....who apparently did not die at the LightSaber of Darth Maul but instead became head of a secret clan of ninjas who take it upon themselves to rid the world of crime (or, if you think of it in Jedi terms: to maintain peace in the galaxy). So QuiGon, a.k.a. Alfred Kinsey (or for you non-cinephiles "Liam Neeson") guides Bruce to their hideout and there is some ninja stuff. (I think The Shredder studied here, too.)

Well, after a few years Bruce decides to return home (oh, by the way.....his parents were killed when he was a kid—in case you didn't know that part of the story [although every incarnation of the story has a different person kill them....either The Joker or just some thug]) and help Gotham City with all it's problems.

With the help of Mississippi's own playboy Morgan Freeman, Bruce puts together his arsenal of BatSuits and BatGuns and BatWhatsits. He's ready to kick some butt and take some names.

Once it seems like Batman has stopped the bad guy and all is well...you realize he just stopped someone working UNDER the bigger bad guy and there's more action and fun. Oh, and Commissioner Gordon makes his appearance as an out-of-place yet very good Gary Oldman. Man, this movie is just packed with star power!

The basic theme of this film is overcoming your fears for the good of others. Like any good SuperHero movie it's very human and works better on a character-driven level. That bit didn't exactly work for Hulk, though.

Ok, one thing that you would think I would have a problem with would be story continuity and coherence. No no no, this one worked fine....I'm talking about between the 5 Batman movies. B/c this was 'Batman Begins', they were able to re-work things and retool the Batman franchise. Basically nothing in this one coincided with the other films (George Lucas would freak out, huh?!) but instead set a new tone. The Joker didn't kill the Waynes, Batman didn't make his first appearance as a 40-year-old Michael Keaton, Wayne Manor was rebuilt after it burned down, and The Joker was already doing his dirty deeds when Bruce became Batman (hint hint: wait till the end of the film). I don't know the true comic book/original story of Batman but I know what I've seen in the films and I know what I like.

Christopher Nolan is not an action director.....he directs more independent-type films. However, he did a fantastic job!

(Actually, I technically didn't see the movie b/c we had to leave before the credits were over.......dammit, now I have to go see it again.)

So, if you care at all about Batman and the Batman franchise........just forget you ever heard of Joel Shumacher and embrace ......well, I guess 'the beginning?' Anyway......Batman Begins.

So...........

Now that I'm making the Cheddar Cheese.......won't someone Give Me Tha Gravy?

I'll promise to Hit It From The Side And Pat The Pouch.

It Takes A Dad To Be A Man....

Ok....."The Color Purple" has moved to my 'movies that make me cry like a fat little girl' list. This joins "Big Fish", "Follow That Bird", parts of all 3 "LOTR" movies and "Masters Of The Universe" (although...that one makes me cry for a different reason) as well as many others but I can't name right now.

Ok Mr. Spielberg.....let's see you try to impress us with your crappy little 'War of the Worlds' thingy.

I actually saw this movie in Mrs. Irby's class in high school, but didn't get the effect b/c it was, you know, in school. In this movie you literally laugh and cry all within the same minute. Something very touching is followed with a gag or vice versa....it's like a roller coaster ride for the soul. Oh, and Oprah Winfrey is probably one of the best characters in movie history (all in my opinion, of course).

Still don't understand the 'half the movie on one side.....flip over to see the rest' thing. I mean, what, this isn't a laserdisc for crying out loud—compression technology has come a long way.

----------------

Things I expect of the new Batman Movie:

--Elliot Goldenthall's score. The theme was in all four recent Batman movies....the franchise just changed directors, not everything else. I mean, even Alfred and Commissioner Gordon were the same in all 4.......besides the music is great.

--I the toy section at WalMart I saw a 'Batman Ninja Sword' set. WTF??? Has 'Kill Bill' influenced Batman? Whoever uses the sword for whatever reason HAD BETTER BE WORTH IT. To me...Batman does NOT equal Ninjas.

--No Batsuit Batnipples.

--2 of the last 4 Batman movies had the dreaded 'parents getting killed' scene. I mean, that part of the story is soooo old news....it's basically like a movie preview that only shows the funny parts. There's no new territory to cover here. Let's just move on and get to the action. Let's not beat a dead horse.

--He must 'bump into' at least one (1) future nemesis. A young Harvey (TwoFace) Dent, a busty young.....er, whatever CatWoman's name was, a young Joker, etc., you get the point.


Call me if you want to go Saturday.

Steal Of The Century....

Ok, so I was in WalMart Sunday and I just decided to browse down the furniture aisles to check stuff out, and they happened to be next to the photo frame aisle. Well, lo and behold, for the first time ever I see a poster frame for a 27" X 40" poster (standard 'theatrical movie' poster size; not your pussy mini-poster that you buy from those flip things at Spencers)! Well.....this is just PERFECT b/c I had my MST3K poster and my Kill Bill poster that I wanted framed to match my Magnolia poster. Well, the sad thing is I was actually planning to carry them to a frame shop in Pontotoc this Tuesday to get them done. Well, as it turns out I probably just saved myself about $150.....b/c these things at WalMart cost me $18 and change! Yep.....wouldv'e been about $70 per poster at a frame shop. And......I just wanted a basic black frame. These are just black plastic.....really set off the posters nicely. I'm soo stoked.

-----

While I was in Tupelo....I was alone so I came within mere minutes/inches of going ahead and buying a projector. You have no idea how much I'm jonesing for one.

I mean....with my room situation now I can make it work so that I can have an entire wall if I want. Basically...just however much it will display at 13' back (that's how long my room is...roughly).

The only problem I can forsee is where to display it; we have paneling. It's painted, mind you, but it's still paneling. So honestly that's about all that's keeping me from this. So if I figure out how to put up some kind of screen and how to paint/color it so things will show up nicely, I will be a movie watching fool. ——with a projector. Hahahah.

------

I have the Front Right Audio Channel from Episode I recorded.....I'm making a start.

Still open for suggestions; I took my last post down for a few reasons....but I'm still awaiting input from Star Wars fans with suggestions on how to recut the first prequel.

-------