Thursday, March 31, 2005

I DID IT!

Fader Gladiator - "Battle Of The Planets"
-----------------I will say that "The Imperial March" is basically my personal "Sweet Home Alabama."

I know that's retarded...but it's true.

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I Can Rebuild Me. Make me better, faster, stronger. Nehnehnehnehnehnehnehneh.

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Okay, I'm stretching here. Nonsense, retardical posts should be banned....but sadly they're not.

I do have a great theory that I don't want to waste into obscurity my posting on a shitty blog....but I'm never gonna write an essay about it, so I'll give you the gist and post more later:

Technology and the development of civilization have not developed well together. Actually, they should have been reversed.

The basic point: Now, there are billions of people living in close proximity, yet we can communicate at the speed of light with phones and the internet and we can actually never leave the house because of being able to order things and have them brought to you.

Then, there were relatively few people separated by vast distances and virtually no communication. You had to walk several days to get to a store, and if you ordred something you would have to wait many weeks.

Now, when we could just walk down the street for a bite of food, we would rather use our internet-capable cell phones to have food brought to us. There are so many people who need jobs but have been outsourced by technology.

Then, there were few people, so techonology would have served well. Lewis and Clark could've done satellite feeds from the west coast to the 87 people living in Kentucky to tell them what the west was like. Then they could've FedEx-ed maize overnight.

Shit, I dunno, I've bored myself. Plus, it's not a very good thought.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Badcock.......BAD!

So this morning I took $301 in rolled change to the bank. I had a box. And Ziplock bags.

So apparently there are some awesome images from Revenge Of The Sith posted online.....but all the servers are overloaded with dorks who want to see crispy Anakin Skywalker being turned into Vader. Dammit.......hope the server opens up soon, or else I'll have to wait until May. (these pics are supposed to show exactly why this is the only Star Wars to be rated PG-13.)

Well....it's shortly after midnight, I just got home which means I must go to bed. Or, in other words just lean back. (my desk chair is actually the foot of my bed—does wonders for my back.)

Toots and the Maytals....

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Addendum, Not A Duodenum.....

So it appears that this link links to a report in Variety that a sequel to "Bean: The Ultimate Disaster Movie" is in the works.

I must say I'm excited, however I would suggest that in this case, the sequel is actually BETTER than the orginal. I mean, 'Bean' was good, but I felt they Americanized it a bit too much....you know, Mr. Bean was only a secondary character. They dealt too much with the family relationship, when we just wanted to see Bean be himself.

Anyway...be on your way.

A Post Almost As Timely As A Coon's Age....

Okay, so the news is that this weekend's big box office hit is the Kutcher/Mac vehicle "Guess Who", in which Ashton Kutcher goes home with his black girlfriend to meet her black family.

What alot of people don't remember is that we've seen this before, in a movie starring Sidney Poiter called "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner" in which Poiter goes home with his white girlfriend to meet her white family.

Couldn't leave well enough alone, now, could we?
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So buried deep in the third disc of the second volume of the Looney Tunes Golden Collection is a short in which Porky Pig doesn't see the relevance of learning the Pledge of Allegiance. He tosses the book aside and takes a nap, at which is the point Uncle Sam materializes and takes him back through early American history, circa 1776.

At the end, Porky learns his lesson (Thanx, Unlce Sam!) and says the pledge; however, he doesn't say "Under God" and the flag had 48 stars.

Quite dated, ain't it?
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Opening Soon: "Beauty Shop"

It's like Cedric the Entertainer got a sex change.

No, no......he was just a huge twat the whole time.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

It's Like Breaking Up With Your Grandma....

So Friday night I had to make a very tough phone call.....

It's not easy to tell an old woman that you can't mow her grass anymore. Especially when said woman thinks you are the only one who can do it, and was basing her next seven months around the fact that I was to be the one to keep her lawn in order.

Oh well.
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Hey, isn't this year Roman Numeral MMV?
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Again, taking my music cues from Andrew (except for what I download, which usually comes from things I see on TV) I have been listening to the newest Loretta Lynn album, and I must say I think's it's amazing. I've never listened to a Loretta album before, but according to the liner notes it's the first one she's ever written all by herself. And again I'll say it's amazing because the stories are so heartbreaking. Well, some are sad and some are uplifting, but they are just so real. I mean, there's no cryptic lyrics or imagery...it's just plain as a country girl can be........and it's great.

Or as Mitch Hedberg would say: "It's so damn literal."
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I was cleaning off my dresser today and I found a ticket stub that said "Phantom" on it. It scared me for a minute because I thought I still had my ticket from the "Phantom Menace" and for some reason had never thrown it away. Turns out it was from the "Phantom Of The Opera" or, as I like to refer to it: "The (Really Good) Phantom Menace".
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I think I screwed up my new phone's battery. I let it completely discharge the second night I had it, and recharged it as you are supposed to do....but now it still only holds half a charge. Dammit.
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Sighhhhh.........probably no 'Dead Like Me' Third Season. Then again, 2nd hasn't been released on DVD.....yet I still sigh.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Reasons Why Adrien Brody Is Retarded:

1. He just is.

....ummm well that about sums it up. Sorry, I know it's a bit random to pick this guy out of the blue (well, actually from looking at the King Kong site), but this guy is a total dickweed. Now, I think I've only seen one movie he was in (he's even retarded when playing someone retarded in The Village—I've never seen worse acting, except maybe by Robert Z'Dar [yes!....Robert Z'Dar reference!], I mean, a monkey could do a better job.), but still...the guys just bothers me. Well, I bet that if I actually saw The Pianist, I would root for the Nazis.

I guess it's just jealousy b/c he got to make out with Halle Berry at the Oscars. Lucky. Well, either that or he's insanely popular right now which makes him insanely uncool right now. (Glad the Whole Napoleon Dynamite thing has worn off)

So, far be it from me to question Peter Jackson's casting for King Kong—I mean, heck, I actually defend his decision to use Jack Black as Carl Denham; Under the condition he plays it STRAIGHT. No funny business, Jack.

But, Adrien as Jack Driscoll? I mean, he doesn't do that much, so why has Adrien got to mess it up?
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Oh well, just leave me my Final Star Wars movie—and make it SAD, George, REALLY REALLY SAD....I want to cry. This is the journey to the dark side, for cripes' sake. We all know he comes back.....make it emotional. (oh, and kill off Jar Jar while you're at it. I know he had like 3 lines in Episode 2, but please...it still hurts.)
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So, can I pay $.25 to see just the one scene Tarantino directed (for $1) in Sin City? Come on, it's basically the same as going to see the previews. Well, all jokes aside, that movie looks incredibly beautiful. So is that what digital 'films' are gonna look like now? Quite breathtaking if you ask me.
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Easter......time of the Cadburys.
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Bits by bit, finding and downloading music from Spaced.....quite lovely.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

FINALLY! At Least Now I Don't Have To Do It....

My ManPorn Site.

Now a place for my favorite Nick Frost Quotes, such as "How do you know if it's a baby and not a poo?" (From "Danger! 50,000 Volts!")

Ok You've Gotta Use Your Head For This One....

Ok, there's a classic Monty Python sketch where a group of old ladies (actually 5 twenty-something British dudes dressed as old ladies—that's Monty Python for ya) are part of a drama society and decide to re-enact the Battle Of Pearl Harbor. This consists of them walking off-screen, then all five of them just run toward each other hitting each other with their handbags and rolling in the mud. Quite visually breathtaking and hilarious if you ask me.

Well, Googling the phrase 'dressed up as a frankenfurter' tonight, I found someone's blog who suggested that they come to a party 'dressed up as old ladies and re-enact the Battle Of Helms Deep.'

(The Battle Of Helms Deep is the big-ass battle at the end of the 2nd Lord Of The Rings Movie)

I found that quite quite funny. It was just a great mental image.

I'll show you the Monty Python bit if you want.





Please

Monday, March 21, 2005

OMG OMG URGENT POST!!!!!!

Run, don't walk, to Your Nearest Hot Dog Records!

They have the Shaggs' Album!!!!


"It's Halloween, It's Halloween"!

Saturday, March 19, 2005

(Peter Griffin Laugh Here) Hehhehehehheheh

There was a pro-bowler in the 50s named Dick Hoover.

This is perhaps the funniest, most random picture ever:
I implore you to reconsider, Michael.

Now, HERE's Some Really Sad News:

The Office.

Yes, The Office.

The show was never funny in Britain, so why bring it over here and make an even crappier crappy American version? And why put it after that crappy show with Donald Trump......as if the two were related?

Shit, meet shit. Now, play nice. Or suffer horrible ratings and die.....I don't care.

Blink And You'll Miss It.......

Well......sad news:

Don't you hate when you never know how good something is until it's gone? Didn't some crappy hair band from the '80s sing about that? Don't know what you've got till it's gone? Something like that......anyway.......

Radio Shack in Pontotoc was the greatest Radio Shack ever.

You see, they also doubled as a rental place (meaning you could go there and rent movies). But here's the catch: After a few weeks, they would sell the VHS or DVD for $7.95. YES.......you heard me. They would sell the movies after only being out for less than a month....for less than $10!

Well today after weeks of not being able to go to Pontotoc and finally getting to (I arrived today right at closing time..but the old guy let me stay) I was informed by the old guy that 'to be a movie place you have to stay open until 9 or 10.' Which, by the way, they are a family/locally owned store, so they have normal hours. Therefore, they can't really afford to do the movie thing anymore. So today was the last day to buy DVDs from them, and Saturday is the last day for VHS.

Sad, really.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

If After Three Strikes You Are Out, What Are You After Three Outs?

Oh, in case my mom didn't call you this weekend, I was lost Saturday afternoon..........



So I was working outside all day doing yard work, and I just kind of felt like going out in the woods that afternoon. I honestly haven't been out in our woods in years (my, things are different now) and I wanted to see if I could still make out the trails I had many years ago (I couldn't). So I also decided to walk down to the creek to check things out. [btw......came up with a short horror film I would love to do; don't know any attractive actors who could do it, though] Well, I was gone maybe 1.5 hours, and walked back to the house.

When I got home my Uncle Shelton and Aunt Marilyn (not really related) were there, and my mom was outside explaining to them I had been cleaning off the carport and clearing some brush around. Then she put her hand on her head and said "THERE he is! Oh, well......thank you for coming, I'm sorry."

............SHE FUCKING CALLED THEM TO COME OVER TO LOOK FOR ME.

I'M TWENTY-FUCKING-THREE YEARS OLD.


She was soooo freaked out.





Sigh.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Activate!

The First Rule Of Robot Club Is: DO NOT TALK ABOUT ROBOT CLUB.

The Second Rule Of Robot Club Is: DO NOT TALK ABOUT ROBOT.....no wait, I got that wrong. The Second Rule Is: NO SMOKING.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Andrew's Big Night....

Well, seen through my eyes, I guess:

Everyone adores Andrew. Not in that "good music" kind of way....more like "let's all sit down in the floor of the club in pow-wow style and love him" kind of way.

I was the merch bitch...but I got free beer.

I had a simple job: hook camera to audio board to get sound—and fucked it up. (well...not really I just like to be hard on myself {.........hard on} )

I want to be as tiny as Jason Cimon.

Modest Mousie was a no-show....I could tell Andrew was upset. We were even gonna do a NeverCryWolf Reunion song.

Got back to Bruce about 3:30ish. Outside temp: 35 degrees......inside Andrew's bedroom temp: 36 degrees. Sleeping on the floor in full clothing, a big jacket, and three blankets next to 2 space heaters: priceless. Ahhhh the joys of bachelorhood.
__________

I like the way your jacket makes me feel.

Tuesday, March 8, 2005

"That's A Horrible Movie That Was On"......

Was my mom's reaction to the first 20 minutes of "2001: A Space Odyssey" tonight.

"Monkeys killing each other; so depressing."

Actually, she was right about this one....it's kind of disturbing.

Although, I was actually watching the made-for-some-crappy-network version of "The Odyssey" tonight on the Sci-Fi channel. (Weird coincidence, huh?) It starred Armand Assante as Odysius and (I think) Tyra Banks as Calypso. Now THAT's depressing!

Monday, March 7, 2005

EWWWWWWW..........

The LexMark Flytrap:

So today at work the printer had a paper jam. Quite a few.

I tried to fix it by pressing the paper feed button. Finally, after several attempts I paper fed, and a spider leg came out attached to the edge of the paper. Then another. .......then, a blob of brown goo.

I just demolished a spider trapped inside the printer. It was pretty gross.

Sunday, March 6, 2005

I'm Totally Freaking Out Here, Man

I'm getting really really nervous about this......whilst putting in "Kung Pow!" in order to double check the name of the music used in the menu—which is also used in "Spaced" Episode 2.5 when discussing the 'plan' (a la "Shaun of the Dead") for the night—I made a horrible discovery:

It seems as though a few of the first DVDs I ever copied are now in fact NOT playing in my players. Just to test out a theory, "Life of Brian" and "Family Guy" disc one and two are not working right either. I mean, those two I can put in, menu comes up but if I try to "skip to the end" my APEX locks up and my PS2 says it can't read disc. And I don't have time to play them all in order to see if I have to watch the disc for it to work.

If this is true......all of my time is now gone. I mean, I have seen everything I've copied so far, so it's no loss there, it's just that for the future what am I going to do when I want to watch something or (worse yet) watch it WITH someone?

I'm freaking out! I can't afford to buy all of this crap! (Although, if forced, I may have to.........like shoes to women, DVDs are my weak spot.) Any suggestions?

Well, I could possibly make back-ups of the copies....but I really like my label designs. They are really shitty but sooooo anal.


Oh, and the song is 'From Rusholme With Love' by Mint Royale. "This is the Indian inflected stormer that scores the Plan montage and goes right through the tequila sequence in the Monarch."


It's also the menu music for "Kung Pow! Enter The Fist"

There..........That's Better.

Just had to do that.

Oh, if you are new to the blog......first, I apologize. Second, I'm sorry about none of my pics showing up. Apparently either our server is down, or someone forgot to pay the bill for wo7bn.com, as the station's website hasn't worked since Thursday.

I'm betting on the latter. Shit, this is gonna confuse alot of people.

Either way......the pictures aren't that great. So you're not missing much. Except for a picture of me with a drawn-on moustache and devil horns & tail, as well as a pic of the classic Zaphod Beeblebrox with paper mache second head. Oh, and some really fat boy/girl jumping up and down.
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So yeah, not much lately, except I haven't done any more shooting due to work. But oh well, nigga gotta get paid.

I'm watching Spaced again. This time, I've been watching 1 or two episodes a night to kind of space it out. This is hard, especially when I'm too tired, and it makes me want to get home as quick as I can to watch it.

Queer Eye For The Straight Girl should have been dismissed as a quaint—yet shitty—idea.
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I hate the fact that all the 'cool' kids in high school, who I never said two words to, who I'm genetically predisposed to hate, who can sniff out my lameness almost as well as they can sniff out poontang, will in fact be the very people I will 'need' one day...you know, mechanics, CPAs, telephone sanitizers, and cotton farmers.

Is this ironic? I don't know, I'm a bit fuzzy on the issue of ironicy.

Saturday, March 5, 2005

Geez.....don't you ever get that feeling that you are stuck in a rut, yet there's nothing you can do about it?

Friday, March 4, 2005

Geez.....don't you ever get that feeling that you are stuck in a rut, yet there's nothing you can do about it?

Thursday, March 3, 2005

Geez.....don't you ever get that feeling that you are stuck in a rut, yet there's nothing you can do about it?

Wednesday, March 2, 2005

Geez.....don't you ever get that feeling that you are stuck in a rut, yet there's nothing you can do about it?

Tuesday, March 1, 2005

Geez.....don't you ever get that feeling that you are stuck in a rut, yet there's nothing you can do about it?