I'll Kick Your Kid's Teeth In...

Before I get to the 'example of poor parenting,' I must get this out of the way:

I got to see the "King Kong" trailer in the theater, and once again I peed a little. My bowels opened up as well and just lost all involuntary (or is it voluntary?) functions momentarily and I was left with a glimmer in my eye and a stain in the seat. So I moved to another seat. I swear, I don't know how I'll contain myself during the actual movie. At the end of the trailer, when the T-Rex roars and Kong pounds the ground.....it's basically a "Let's go, bitch" growl and all hell is about to break loose. Anyway...on to the better portion of the post.

An example of bad parenting: Taking your kids (10 years or younger) to see "War Of The Worlds." And, being an asshole by talking at your normal "Hi, two coffees, please" voice DURING the fucking movie. To your kids. "What are they mom?"......"They're bodies, honey. Look....a whole river of dead bodies."....."Yeayyyyy mommie! Dead people! Oh, look....it's raining clothes! ahahahah!"

I swear, if I was one seat to the right I would have kicked that kid's seat everytime he spoke. What's worse is about halfway into the movie, these people's 'friends' and 'daughter' came in and just stood at the entrance there while a teenage girl STOOD there talking to her mom in the seat about stuff. So the other people just decide to have a seat for a bit as if they paid to see this movie from the beginning. Then, after about 15 minutes of restless kids and laughing, the entire clan gets up and just leaves.

So yes....yesterday was supposed to be a double feature with "The 40 Year Old Virgin" and "War Of The Worlds," but Natalie was in Starkville and Andrew wanted to get home early to record a little bit so it was cut down to just one movie. And I was being nice and went for "War" b/c I knew he should watch it in the theater if at all.

And then.......it happened. As if that movie weren't terrifying enough, we walked out of the theater and he said "my knee hurts like fuck.....it's gonna rain." So, seeing the beautiful setting sun to the west, we shrugged and started our way home. Before we got off 78, there was lighting in the distance. Yes....only if you've seen the movie will you make the connection. Then came the crazy talk: "Dude, the aliens are here." "What would you do?" "I would rather them just evaporate me than get stuck with that needle or eaten by that sphincter/butt thing" "JoelG would just look up and mouth 'Oh YEAH!'" Ok, it's not as scary typing this morning, but when you are driving in a storm after seeing a movie about aliens that come down in lightning and you're with a friend and all you can do is go over scenarios.....it's pretty scary.

I finished Paul Feig's book "SUPERSTUD: Or How I Became A 24-Year Old Virgin" and have read one chapter into his first book, "Kick Me: Adventures In Adolescence." He's got a great way of writing and the subject matter is basically the same for all of us: Losers have it the worst. This guy has lived it, and, well, it does seem there is hope. Things can only get better. Sadly, it may not be until I'm 40 years old.....but by then maybe I can fit in a little better.


Sigh. Normalcy.