Should We ReThink Things?

So, I've forgotten most of it--therefore the arguments kinda peter out at the end----, but this morning during my shower I was going over my next (current) blog. Some of this stems from a late nite science lesson about breastmilk. I should also state at the moment, I'm exfoliating. Green goo on my face.

So.....there's this so-called debate thingy about evolution and intelligent design, right?

Well.....I think they are both incredibly faulty and extremely shaky and kinda lame.

Ok, so first let's think about 'intelligent' design. More like a beta-testing design that went into production before all the bugs could be worked out. Well, the way that I see it is that if I were awarded the Frankenstein Grant to create a new creature, there are some things I would leave out. If you think about the current design of automobiles, they are similar to human function. Cars need fuel to do the work of making the car go....and though most of it is used up there is still some excess and waste produced that must be eliminated. Same with us right? We eat food to live and produce waste that must be eliminated. We also sneeze some weird things into our hands. And in my case, my T-zone is covered in oil 20 minutes after I scrub my face until it's red. Yes......this blog is about bodily functions and fluids. Well, THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY!

DON'T tell me that just b/c Eve sinned that ONE stinking time way back when we have to poop b/c of that. I mean.....if God created this wonderful creature called man, why the hell would he include in this 'design' pooping and pissing and vomiting and snot? The moment the star crossed lovers left Eden did they grow intestines and have to hock a loogey? It's all crap (no pun intended). I mean the dying thing is ok....our bodies wear out, we die. DO WE HAVE TO DIE AND SIMULTANEOUSLY RELEASE OUR BOWELS? It's not limited to poo, of course. Just think about all of the gross things our bodies do. Is all that necessary for creatures that most pleased God? When it "was good," shouldn't Gabriel or someone not blowing a trumpet should have spoken up and said '...ummm, sir....do we have to rush production on these creatures right away? You don't wanna spend a little more time working on the prototype? I mean, with all due respect and honor and glory, we're not on a deadline here. We've got, well....eternity. Go ahead and take that 7th day off, and come back on the 1st feeling refreshed and ready to get back to it."

Also...since that happy naked couple couldn't have been forgiven the first time they screwed up in, well, the existence of anything, instead of being recalled and starting fresh, they were given the go-ahead to reproduce fruitfully as they pleased. Let's get a bunch more little no-good-doers out there. With that thinking......it must have been known that a few thousand years later there would be billions of people pooping, pissing, and piling up their earwax and killing this planet. Ok, you got a tribe of 50 people....you can deal with the waste and keep it away from your food and drinking water just fine. You got a planet of people....and you have people pooping and pissing on their food and in their water, which in turn makes them poo just a little more. You now have a filthy, disgusting wasteland of excrement. Going back to the car metaphor: when you buy a brand new car do you immediately rush out and buy an ice cream cone on a hot summer day and eat it while navigating traffic? No.....b/c you'll mess up the nice car. And when you DO mess it up, usually you clean it instead of letting it all go to shit.

Then.....there's the fantastical sci-fi hooey that we all came from this big giant explosion and craweled out of slop and turned into people that created iPhones. Well, not being an expert on the topic, from what I've gathered over the years some of it deals with ideas like 'survival of the fittest' and things like that, right? Well.....poking a big hole in that is how are you going to be productive and the best at everything if you have to take a potty break all the time? About when on the evolutionary scale did it become necessary for those single celled organisms to expel their waste rather than develop a process where the body absorbs 100% of everything it intakes? And WHY intake something in the first place? If evolution is so smart, why didn't it evolve the ability to spontaneously grow and move and function without having to replenish?

So I guess what I'm saying is that the next time you pop that pimple on your shoulder or dig out that eye crust in the morning, question your beliefs.

Farts are still funny, though.