Look, That Thing Is Going Up Just Now

So last week I put in The Phantom Menace just to check it out with surround sound. Actually, I only have it on VHS, so it was just to listen to the really loud soundtrack with a subwoofer.

Back in 1999, every Nurd in the world was anticipating (with wood, mind you) the release of this supposedly spectacular and long awaited prequel to one of the greatest fantasy series EVER.

Unfortunately, we were greeted by Jar Jar Binks.

Now don't get me wrong, Jar Jar DOES play an integral part to the story--the Gungans help to create a diversion so the two Jedis can lead the Queen back to the throne room to stop the Trade Federation.
Also remember that when it came out, I defended Jar Jar. I knew he was pushing it, but I didn't hate him.

4.5 years later, The Phantom Menace just blows. I desperately want to believe in my heart that Lucas was being so kind to his fans as to give us 3 more Star Wars movies, but along the way, he tried to cater to small children who don't even belong in a theatre. (It also didn't keep him from making a few more millions of dollars) Kids don't get the classic subtle humor of C3PO and R2D2's almost old married couples' bickering. They have to see a goofy talking gangly creature getting his hand stuck in a pod-racer and stepping in 'poodoo.'

And it's not JUST Jar Jar. The movie is filled with tiny little moments that just make it a lighthearted disaster. I would like to take the movie, and trim scenes to make it better. Someday when I'm caught up on my work, I just will. Little bit of dialogue here, quick shot of 'comedy' there, and the movie will be just like the spirit of Episodes 4-6.

Not to just beat this into the ground, but take a look at The Empire Strikes Back, one of the Top 5 sequels EVER MADE....and then look at Phantom Menace. I mean, come on, how can the Star Wars galaxy go from Uber Goofy to Sad and Depressed in just 5 movies?

Hopefully Episode 3 will show how there is just some huge disaster that wipes out everyone so we can start over.....back in 1977 when it was pure.

Oh, I haven't seen Attack of the Clones since it came out, so I'll comment on that later.